Old Lady For The Taking
by docsangel
Summary: What happens when you are taken from your home as payment for your father's debt? Can a blonde haired biker be your knight in shining armor?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Being the 18 year old daughter to a drug addict is not the life anyone would want. I know I don't. But that is the life I have. My father has been using since I was 14 years old when mom died. He blames me. She was in a car accident on the way to pick me up from a friend's house and so now he blames me. I blamed myself for so long but as I got older, I started to realize that I didn't have that kind of control. Unfortunately, my father doesn't agree. So, when he gets high, he gets mad and I am the focus of his rage. I have had broken ribs, broken wrist, and even a broken jaw bone. But I can't leave. I don't talk to anyone so I have no one to help me leave so I am stuck here. Or at least that is how it seems. But the last thing I expected was for my dad to sell me to the highest bidder. But that was just what he did.

I had just graduated high school and was home full time. Sitting in my room, trying to stay out of my father's way hoping that would be enough to not get hit this time. I was reading a book that I had gotten at the local book store here in Stockton. I have read this book before but it is one of my favorites. Things have been quiet for a little while so I was hoping he had passed out but then I hear motorcycles coming up in front of the house. I still had not left my room. I hear my father talking and then hear voices that I have never heard before. "Julie! Get out here!" My father yells. I rush out there knowing that he hates to be kept waiting. "Get your shit together. You're there problem now" He tells me walking away. I look at him confused. "What are you talking about Daddy?" Before my dad could answer, a gray haired man looks at me. "You are coming with us Sweetheart. You are going to work for us for a while to work off the money your dad owes us." He tells me. I look at my dad and he just tells me, "Get your shit and go."

I walk to my room and start packing the few things I have when I hear a someone at the door. I turn and he is a nice looking man with blonde spiky hair, nice arms and beautiful blue eyes. "Hey." He says. I don't say anything. I just turn around and finish packing. "Are you okay?" He asks. "Yes Sir." I tell him. I learned a long time ago to be respectful or I would get hit. "You don't have to call me Sir, Sweetheart." He says smiling softly. I finished packing my bag and as I go to pick it up, he grabs it. "I got it." "Thank you." I tell him. Grateful that he is carrying it because my ribs still hurt too much to really lift it. Walking back out into the main room, the man from before who I learned was Clay started talking to me, telling me what would be expected of me. "Sweetheart, you are going to be working around the clubhouse and you will do whatever is asked of you. We will take care of you but you we are taking you in exchange or wiping your father's debt clean. I knew about the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club and I knew that they passed girls around. I look down at my feet, wringing my hands together. "Yes Sir. Whatever you want." I tell him thinking that I will be one of those passed around. Wouldn't be the first time.

Walking out to the bikes, the blonde who I find out is named Kozik, walks me over to the waiting van and puts my bag in the back. Walking to the passenger seat where I am climbing in he tells me, "It's going to be okay." I asked him "Am I going to be passed around?" He looks at me with a sad look in his eyes. "I won't let it happen okay. Trust me?" I nod my head yes as we head towards Charming. I didn't say a word, only looked out the window scared to death of what I was going to have to do to clear this debt. I could not believe that my own father sold me off like that. That easy. He must have hated me more than I thought. That thought alone made a tear fall down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away as we pass the 'Welcome to Charming' sign.

Pulling onto the TM lot, we pull into a parking spot and before I can open the door, someone opens it for me. Kozik is standing there with his hand held out to help me out of the van. I take his hand and let him help me. My ribs are really hurting at this point but I have learned to hide the pain really well over the years. We walk inside and the one that I rode with, named Rat, took my bag and sat it in a chair at one of the tables. "Have a seat. Rat get her a water or something. Sweetheart, we have church so that we can decide what to do with you. Stay here. We won't be long. Rat! Keep an eye on our friend here." Clay says before he calls all of the guys into the chapel for church. Rat brings me my water and sits at the table but seeing that I am not very talkative, he just sits there quietly and for that I am grateful.

About an hour later, they all come out of chapel and Kozik walks up to me. "Come with me please Julie." Kozik asks me. I stand up and follow him down the hall. I think to myself 'I guess he's the first one I get passed around to.' hoping that I am wrong. He unlocks one of the dorm room doors and steps inside. I follow him inside and he closes the door and locks it. I can feel more tears threaten to fall but before I can say anything Koz starts talking. "Julie, I just want to fill you in on what is going on. We all talked and voted on how you were going to be able to pay your dad's debt and Clay suggested you basically be a cleaning girl. You would do whatever anyone here told you to and that would include the croweaters. They would treat you like shit. I couldn't let that happen." He tells me. I still have not said anything, just listening. Looking at my feet, he walks up to me, tipping my chin up to look at him. "The only way to clear the debt and keep my promise to you was to claim you." He tells me. "Claim me? What does that mean?" I asked him stepping back from him. "That means you are my Old Lady. You will get my crow tattooed on you and in this life, it means you are more or less my wife. You are faithful to me. You will live with me and I will take care of you. But the thing is that, here, Old Ladies are respected. Old Ladies are feared. You will be protected as long as you have my crow." He explains. "Why are you doing this? That is a big step." I asked him. "Because there is just something about you. Something I can't put my finger on but there is something about you that just draws me in." He tells me stepping forward and placing a soft kiss to my lips. "Thank you Koz." He pulls me to him hugging me as I wince in pain. He pulls back "Julie, what is it?" He asks me. "Nothing. I'm okay." I tell him playing it off. "Show me." He tells me softly. I just stand there and he walks back over to me and starts raising up my shirt seeing the bruises. "Who did this to you Sweetheart?" He asks concerned. "Doesn't matter." I tell him. "Baby, listen to me, you can talk to me. I promise no one will ever hurt you again." He assures me. "My dad." I whisper. He kisses my cheek and walks out of the room. Next thing I know a woman in her late 20's early 30's walks in. "I'm Tara. Koz asked me to come and check on you. I'm a doctor. Can I check on your ribs?" She asks me. I nod yes and she starts examining them. Turns out that my ribs are not broken only bruised.

A couple of hours later, the pain meds Tara has given me had kicked in and I was asleep. I felt the bed dip down on one side and I feel arms wrap around me. Koz pulls me closer to him and I lay my head on his chest falling back to sleep. He kisses the top of my head and we fall asleep together.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning, still sore, but feeling an arm around me. I open my eyes to see Koz still laying next to me. I start to get up, but feel his arm pull me back to him. "Where you going?" He asked me without opening his eyes. "Just to the bathroom Sir." I respond, still scared. He lets me go but before I move, he tells me "You don't have to call me Sir. You call me either Kozik, Koz or if we are alone you can call me Herman or Herm. Sweetheart you are my Old Lady. You don't have to be scared of me." He says. I nod my head before getting up and going into the bathroom to relieve myself and splash water on my face.

Walking back out to the bedroom, I see him sitting on the side of the bed. "Come here." He says reaching out his hand. I walk over and he pulls me down on his lap. "What all did he do to you?" He asked but I was too ashamed to answer. I knew what all he had done to me. It had been happening since I was 14 years old. "Julie, baby, I'm not going to let him hurt you again. Or anyone else but I need to know what has happened to you. Please." He pleads. I stand up and walk over to the chair, sitting down with my hands in my lap. "When mom died, I was 14. Dad blames me for it. She was coming to get me when she was hit head on and killed. After that he started drinking really bad and getting high. It started out with him hitting me and he still did up until you showed up. But if he needed his high and didn't have the money, he would make a deal with his dealer and I was used as his form of payment." I tell him as a tear falls down my face. He walks over and kneels down in front of me. "Julie, sweetheart. Have you ever been with anyone that wasn't forced?" He asked me softly. I just shook my head no as the tears started falling harder. "Baby, look at me." He says as he tilts my head up to look at him. "I will never make you do anything you don't want to do. Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen. Okay?" He says. I just nodded my head yes. You see, I am not a skinny girl. I am five feet tall with brown hair down to the middle of my back and I weigh about 135 pounds. I am not fat but am what some would call a "thick" girl.

Koz pulled me to the bed and I laid down. He pulled me to him and gently started kissing me. All we did was kiss. It felt nice and he never tried to get me to go farther which was surprising. A little while later, there was a knock on the door and Koz got up to answer it. Another man walked. He was tall and bald with a snake tattoo that started at the top of his head. "Julie, this is Happy. He's another Son. He's also my best friend. If I am not able to be reached when you need something, you call him or Tig who you met earlier." He says. "You ready?" Happy asked. "For what?" I asked getting scared. "Remember I told you that you would get my crow tattoo? Happy here is going to do it for you. Are you okay with that?" He asks. "Will you be here with me?" I asked him and he could see that I was still scared. "Yeah babe. I won't leave." He promises. "Okay. Where do you want to put it?" I asked him. "On your chest, above your heart." He tells me. I slowly pull my shirt off and am standing there in my bra when Happy says. "Lay on the desk on your back. If it starts getting uncomfortable, tell me and we will take a break." He tells me. I nod my okay and do as he told me. Koz walks over beside me and sits on the other side of the desk and holds my hand. The next couple of hours I just laid there and let Happy give me Koz's crow.

Once the tattoo is done, Happy tells me about all the aftercare instructions and leaves. Standing at the mirror looking at it I feel Koz walk up behind me and put his arms around my waist. Stiffening up, I pull away and start putting my shirt back on after replacing the bandage that Happy put on there to cover it. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked me, concerned. "I think so. Koz, why did you choose me? I mean, you could have any girl you want and you chose me. Why?" He looks at me as I cover my stomach and realized what I mean. "Don't hide yourself from me. I think you are beautiful." He tells me trying to ease my mind. "I see all those skinny girls out there. You could have any one of them. I'm not like those skinny girls." I tell him as I walk over and sit on the bed, still looking down at my hands. "I don't want someone that all you feel are bones when you hold them. I want someone that has curves and that is what you have. You really don't see how beautiful you are do you?" He asked. I shook my head no and he pulls me to him and kisses me softly saying "Well I'll just have to show you."

Later that night, there was a party in the clubhouse that was to celebrate me getting my crow. It was a tradition that when someone takes an Old Lady that they celebrate. Even though I was made an Old Lady under unconventional circumstances, It was still made one nonetheless. Walking out to the bar, Koz asks what I want to drink. "I'm not old enough to drink." I tell him. "Sweetheart, you get whatever you want okay." He says kissing my lips softly. "Just a coke please." I say to the prospect tending the bar. I look at Koz, "Not a real big drinker." I tell him and he looks at me with understanding. I take the coke offered me and walk over to the table where the guys are with Koz as he takes one of the chairs at one of the high top tables by the pool tables to watch Happy and Tig shoot pool. Koz pulls me between his knees and I stand, leaning my back against him as he puts his arms around me whispering in my ear "Just relax and have fun. Stay close to me though okay." I nod my head and turn to kiss him on the lips. He smiles seeing me relax a little. The farther into the night that we got, the more I noticed that no matter who we were talking to, Koz always either had his arm around me, holding my hand or pulling me against him. It was kind of nice. I did talk to a few of the other Old Ladies. Gemma told me that once I got settled in at Koz's house that she would take me shopping and she would fill me in on all the things I need to know about being an Old Lady. Tara also wants some one on one time with me to get to know me and I am grateful to both of them.

As the night turns into early morning, Koz asks me if I am ready for bed. We walk to his dorm room and as we walk in, he closes the door and locks it. I change into some short cotton shorts and a tank top and crawl into bed. Koz strips down to his boxer and lays next to me. Leaning over me, he kisses me softly and I feel myself responding. My body relaxes and hums at the same time. Pulling out of the kiss, he looks at me and I can see so much compassion in his eyes. I decide that I belong to him now and I need to let myself open up to him. I finally whisper "Koz?" He asks "What Sweetheart." My heart is beating so hard and I finally say "Claim me?" He looks at me as if to ask if I am sure and I lean up and kiss him.

Koz deepens the kiss as he runs his hand up and down my side giving me goosebumps. Straddling me, he slowly pulls my tank top off seeing no bra underneath. Kissing me again, he works his way down my neck and to my breasts, taking his time and being gentle. He continues down my stomach to the inside of my thighs. Pulling my panties off slowly he begins licking up and down my center before finally swirling his tongue in circles around my clit causing me to arch my back. No one had ever done this to me before and I couldn't believe how good it felt. I felt myself reach my release. He climbs on top of me, kissing me passionately before positioning himself at my entrance. Looking at me as if asking for permission, I wrap my legs around him and pull him closer giving him the permission he was waiting on. Pushing in slowly, he gives me a minute to adjust to his size before he starts to slowly thrust in and out of me causing me to moan into his kiss with each thrust. I never thought sex could feel like this. He was slow and gentle and it was perfect. Like something out of a romance movie. As we both reach our release, he pulls out of me and pulls me into his side. Kissing me softly he says, "You're mine Julie James." That is the last thing I hear before falling asleep in my Old Man's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up to find Koz gone. On the night stand was a note.

 _Good morning beautiful,_

 _I had to go out on club business. I left you a burner phone that has my number programmed on speed dial 1, Happy is 2 and Tig is 3. When you get out of bed and dressed, Gemma will be in the office. Just let her know if you need anything. I will be back soon and we can spend some time together. Sleep good, Sweetheart._

 _Koz_

I smile a little at the note and put it in the nightstand. Getting up I get dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans, a Pink Floyd t-shirt and my boots. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I walk out to the bar and asking the prospect for a bottled water. Sitting down at the bar, the prospect, Rat, asked "Can I get you anything else?" "No but thank you. I think I will just sit here and wait on Koz to get back if that's okay." I say. "Sure, just let me know if I can get you anything else." he says before returning to stocking the bar.

After sitting there for a while, one of the croweaters walks up and says, "Don't get comfortable Sweetheart. You need to know, Koz doesn't go have fat chicks. Maybe you should find someone more...your size." I just look at her as the tears start to fall before running down the hallway towards the dorms. Finding the ladder to the roof, I climb up the ladder, opening the hatch and climb onto the roof. Sitting down on one of the air condition units, I pull my legs up, crossing my arms over my knees and continue to cry. After a little while, I hear the bikes pull onto the lot. Looking up seeing Koz get off his bike and walking towards the clubhouse and the tears start to fall again.

 **Koz POV**

Walking into the clubhouse, I look around for Julie. Not seeing her, I walk to the dorm room thinking maybe she was hiding out in there. I open the door and after checking the room and the bathroom, not seeing her, I walk out to the bar room asking Rat, "You seen my Old Lady?" He looks at me and says "Not in a little while. Koz, something happened while you were gone." Rat tells him. "What the fuck happened? Where's my Old Lady?" I asked getting pissed. "One of the croweaters came up to her and said something, I didn't hear what, and she took off towards the dorms. I thought she just went into your room." Rat tells him. "Fuck!" I yell heading back towards the dorms when I see sunlight coming from the roof hatch and see it opened. Climbing up, I see her sitting on one of the units crying.

 **Julie's POV**

I hear footsteps coming towards me but I don't look up. I know who it is. I feel him sit down next to me and try to pull me into his arms. I start to pull away when he says "Baby, don't pull away. I got you." I let him pull me to him and he tilts my head up to look at him. Wiping the tears away with his thumb he says "Talk to me baby. What happened?" I don't say anything. I just let him hold me. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "For what baby?" He asks. I pull away from him folding my arms around myself, closing myself off again. I know I am not good enough for him. 'He can do so much better than my fat ass.' I think to myself. Pulling me back to him, he says "Tell me what she said." I look at him shocked. "Rat told me one of the croweaters said something but didn't say what. Now baby please tell me." He says. "She just told me not to get comfortable with you and that you don't go for fat chick and to find someone more _my size_." I tell him. "Fuck, baby. Don't listen to any of them. Croweaters are going to say anything to get close to anyone with a patch. You have my crow. You are mine. I don't need anyone but you, okay." He assures me. Pulling me onto his lap, we sat in silence before he finally tells me that we will be moving into his house in a couple of days so I won't have to be here much longer.

After sitting on the roof together for a while, we finally come down and walk into the bar hand in hand. Walking to the bar, Koz sits me down beside Gemma. "You okay baby?" She asks putting her hand over mine. "I think so." I tell her. "Don't listen to what these whores say. They will say anything if they think it gets them that crow. Sweetheart, you gotta show those bitches that he's off limits and you are not one to be messed with. Own that shit." She tells me. I turn around to see the same croweater from before walking up to Koz. "Go show that bitch her place." She tells me. I take a deep breath and walk over knowing what I need to do. Not just for me but for my Old Man too. Walking up, I see her running her fingers up and down his chest. I grab her by the hair and slam her face into the pool table, slinging her down on the floor. I put my booted foot on her throat, leaning down where she can see my face. "You or any of your nasty ass, meth whores touch my Old Man again, I will take his knife and gut you like a God damned deer. You hear me cunt?" She nods her head yes the best she could with my boot on her throat. I let her up and she runs away holding her throat crying to her other croweater friends. Walking over to Koz, he pulls me into his side, kissing me sweetly before whispering 'That was hot as hell." I look to Gemma and she winks at me showing her approval.

As the night goes on, Koz keeps rubbing my sides and kissing my neck, whispering how sexy I am. After a while, I can't take it anymore so I take his hand and pull him towards the dorm. He doesn't fight me. Walking into the dorm room we had been sharing, he locks the door and pushes me to the bed. Laying me down he starts striping me of my clothes before making love to me. After two rounds, we lay curled up together with his arms around me while he places kisses to my neck and shoulder until I fall asleep in his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Two days later, we are moving my things into Koz's house. It is a nice little one story house that is light blue on the outside with black shutters. I like it. Inside there is a nice sized living room with black suede furniture, a flat screen TV hanging on the wall and a nice oak entertainment center. The kitchen had, what looked like new appliances, and stocked with food and cookware that looks like they have not even been used. One bedroom is empty but is good size with a decent sized bathroom. Walking into the master bedroom, I see that it is huge with a walk in closet and a huge bathroom with a huge tub. It was the perfect little house. I love it.

As I am unpacking the few things I have, I feel his arms snake around my waist and his lips on my neck. "Mmm, that feels good." I tell him. He turns me around in his arms kissing me softly. Pulling away, he asks, "What do you think of the house?" I smile up at him, "It's perfect but it looks like nothing has even been used." I tell him. "Well, I had Gemma order new appliances and fill the kitchen up. I normally stayed at the clubhouse and was rarely here." He tells me. He goes back to kissing my neck and I say "Herm you keep this up and I'll never get these things unpacked." He looks at me and starts to help me put them away.

Once we are done unpacking, I asked him what he wants for dinner. One thing I did learn before mom died was how to cook. "What do you want for dinner?" I asked looking through the cabinets. "Whatever you want to cook, babe." I look in the fridge and see chicken as well as the things I would need for stuffing. I look through the cabinets and found the casserole dish and the pot to boil the chicken in. I start the process of making Chicken Casserole. Once I get it in the oven, I walk to the living room handing Koz a beer. Sitting down next to him, he pulls me into his side as he flips through the channels to find something to watch. When the casserole was done, I pulled it out of the oven and set the table. "Herm, dinner is done. You wanna eat in here to at the table." I say. "At the table is fine babe." He tells me, getting up and walking into the kitchen. There was the casserole, salad, and toasted garlic bread. I fixed his plate and then mine and we ate in silence. After dinner, I was cleaning up the kitchen and putting the leftovers away. Walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch, Koz pulls me onto his lap, kissing me. "Dinner was great babe. Where did you learn to cook like that?" He asked. "Mom taught me before she died. I love to cook and bake." I tell him.

We watched a movie before bed. When we get into bed, he leans over me, kissing me passionately. I allow him to deepen the kiss and he climbs between my legs and makes love to me and it seems to get better each time. "God Jules, Fuck that feels so good." He whispers as he thrusts in and out at a steady, slow pace. I love how he makes me feel but I need more of him. He is like a drug. I can't get enough. "Herm, harder please baby." I almost beg and he doesn't disappoint. He thrusts in and out slamming himself into me over and over until he feels my center squeezing his hard member until he finds his release slipping his seed inside me. Laying next to me, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me against him and whispers, "I love you, Jules." I smile as I whisper back "I love you too Herman."

 *****Six Months Later*****

It has been six months since I came to live with Koz and things are going great. I spend most days with Gemma at TM or with Tara, hanging out and then the nights I spend at home with Koz and we just can't seem to keep our hands off of each other. I have become a lot more comfortable in my own skin and I have Koz to thank for that. He is always telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. If he leaves before I get out of bed he sends me a text telling me. I can honestly say for the first time in my life that I am happy and I feel safe.

There have been a couple of times where he has gone on runs and been gone for a week at a time but he has stayed faithful and I know he has because the guys still give him hell about it. He called me every night and we got both of us smartphones so that we could video chat with each other and even had phone sex a few times. I never thought that I could be this comfortable with someone. He even bought me a car so that I could get around. He didn't want me to work because in case of lockdown, I wouldn't have to worry about losing a job. We still go to the parties on Friday nights but most nights we are home alone, enjoying each other.

Pulling onto the lot at TM I see Koz's bike but don't see him anywhere around the garage. Walking into the office, I walk over to hug Gemma, "Hey Gemma." I say. "Hey baby. What are you doing here?" She asks. "Just wanted to drop by and see if you wanted to get lunch." I tell her. "Sure, let me just finish this up and we can go." She tells me. Before I can respond, Koz comes walking into the office. Leaning down, he kisses my lips. "Hey Babe. What are you doing here?" He asks me, sitting down beside me. "I came by to invite Gemma to lunch." I tell him. "You need money?" He asked me. "No. I still have what you gave me the other day." I tell him. I never was really big on spending money. "Okay." he says. "Any idea what you want for dinner? I can drop by the store on the way home." I asked him. "We can just order pizza tonight. Are you feeling any better?" He asked me. "Yeah, I am. Don't worry about me." I reassure him. He kisses me again getting up and heading back to the garage.

Getting into Gemma's car, she says, "Why did he ask you if you were feeling better?" I respond with, "Nothing big. I have just been feeling a little sick to my stomach the last couple of mornings." I tell her. "Sweetheart, could you be pregnant?" She asked me. I think about it for a minute before I freeze. "Gemma, pull over, hurry." I tell her covering my mouth. She pulls over to the side of the road, opening the door and getting out, I bend over and empty the contents of my stomach. Gemma hurries to my side holding my hair back and rubbing my back. Getting back into the car once I am done, she tells me, "We need to make another stop before we go to lunch." I just nod my head as I sit there in shock. We have never even talked about kids.

Pulling up to St. Thomas, we walk up to Tara's office, knocking on the door. She opens the door seeming surprised to see us. "Gemma, Julie, what's going on?" She asks showing us into her office. Closing the door, she turns and looks at us with a worried look on her face. "Tara, our girl here needs a pregnancy test done if you have the time." She says. "Of course. When was your last period, Jules?" Tara asked. I thought back for a minute. "A couple of months, I think." I tell her. "Okay, I am going to draw some blood and have the lab run the test through and then if it comes back positive we will do an ultrasound and see how far along you are." She explains. "Okay. Thank you Tara." I tell her, grateful that I have people that actually care about me now. She leaves the room to get what she needs to draw the blood and I look at Gemma. "What am I going to do if I am pregnant. We haven't even talked about kids." I tell her with tears in my eyes. "Sweetheart, that man loves you. We all can tell. He will be over the moon happy. Just take it a step at a time. But no matter what, Tara and I will be with you the entire way. You won't be alone in this." She tells me as Tara walks back into the room. "Gemma is right, Jules. Everything will be fine." she assures me. Tara draws the blood and leaves to take it to the lab.

Sitting in Tara's office, her phone rings. "Dr Knowles speaking." She answers. After a moment, she says "Thank you." and hangs up. Looking at me with a smile, "Congrats Jules. Looks like you are going to be a mommy." Her and Gemma hug me as the tears start rolling down my face. Tara leads us to an exam room and turns on the ultrasound machine. Putting the cool gel on my stomach she starts to move the wand around looking for the fetus. Turning on the volume, we hear a _lub dub lub dub_ sound. "That Jules would be your baby's heartbeat." She tells me smiling. Gemma squeezes my hand as Tara moves the wand again showing us a little blob on the screen as she clicks and measures the fetus. "Looks like you are 8 weeks along and everything looks great. We can schedule you an appointment in about a month and we can get you started on prenatals. Here are your copy of the ultrasound pictures. We are so happy for you." Tara tells me handing me the ultrasound pictures.

Getting into Gemma's SUV she looks at me, "Are you okay Sweetheart?" I look at her. "I'm having a baby. I'm going to be a mommy." I tell her with a huge smile on my face. "Looks like this lunch will be a celebration lunch." Gemma tells me smiling. 'Now just to tell Herm.' I think to myself.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Pulling back onto the lot, I see Koz sitting on the picnic table smoking with Happy. Getting out of the car, Gemma puts her arm around me and whispers, "Good luck momma." before she walks into her office. Walking over to the picnic table, I walk up to Koz. "Hey babe." He says reaching out for my hand, I take his hand and let him pull me to him, kissing my lips softly. "How was lunch?" He asked. "About that. Can we talk?" I asked him. He looks at me confused and says "Sure." Getting up, he puts his arm around me and leads me inside and back to his dorm room. Walking into the dorm room, he closes and locks the door. Turning to me he asks "What do you want to talk about?" I sat down on his bed, looking down at my hands. "Before Gemma and I went to lunch, she took me by St Thomas to see Tara. Since I haven't been feeling well, I decided to get checked out." I tell him. Sitting down beside me, he takes my hand, "Babe, what did they say? Is something wrong?" he asks worried. I reach into my bag and pull out one of the ultrasound pictures and hand it to him, waiting to find out his reaction. He stands up, looking at the picture before turning back to me. "You're pregnant?" He asks softly. "I'm 8 weeks along. I know we haven't talked about kids but Herm I really…" He cuts me off crashing his lips onto mine. "We are having a baby." He whispers. "You aren't mad?" I asked him, a little scared. "Mad? Baby, no I'm not mad. This is the best news I've heard in a long time." He tells me grinning from ear to ear.

Pulling me out of the clubhouse and to the garage he calls out to everyone "I knocked her up! I'm gonna be a daddy!" Everyone cheers and comes up hugging us and giving their congrats. Clay tells Koz to take the rest of the day to go home and celebrate with his Old Lady. I follow Koz to the house and as soon as we are inside, he picks me up bridal style and carries me to our bedroom. Kissing me, he kisses his way down my body and when he gets to my stomach, he kisses my stomach and looks up at me and talks to the baby, "Hey little guy. Me and mommy can't wait to meet you." He looks up at me and sees tears in my eyes. Laying on the bed next to me he pulls me into his arms and whispers "I love you, momma." I smile at him "I love you too daddy."

The next morning I get out of bed and immediately run into the bathroom getting sick. Koz is right behind me holding my hair back and rubbing my back. Rubbing my stomach I say, "Ugh, child, I love you already but can you at least let me get up for the day before you start making me sick?" Koz laughs. "Babe, I don't think he really has a say." I look at him, "We don't know what we are having. Could be a girl." His eyes go wide, "Hell no. I don't make girls. I only make boys." I laugh at him. Patting his chest as I walk by him out of the bedroom I say, "Keep thinking that daddy."

The next month goes by and it's time for my appointment. I told Koz about it and he said he would try to be here as long as he didn't have club business. I know the club comes first but still would really like him to be here. The nurse comes out and calls my name, "Julie James?" She calls. As I stand up to follow her, I feel a hand on the small of my back. Turning, I see Koz smiling at me. He kisses my temple and we follow the nurse back to the exam room. We go through the normal routine of getting weight, blood and urine samples before leading us into the exam room. While waiting on the doctor to come in, I look at Koz, "I didn't think you would make it." He smiles, "I didn't think I was going to get here on time." I smile at him, "Herm, I know you are busy. I don't expect you to be at every appointment. But the one that we find out the gender is the main one that I don't want you to miss." He walks over to me and cups my face in his hands, "Babe, I will be at all of them that I can. I am glad you understand though. I love you." He kisses my lips and I whisper, "I love you too, Herm."

After a few minutes, the doctor comes in and introduces herself. "Hi Julie. I'm Dr. Shaw. How are you feeling today?" She asks. "Hi Dr. Shaw. This is my boyfriend, Koz and I'm feeling okay. Morning sickness isn't too bad yet." I tell her. "Good. Now, what I am going to do is measure your stomach even though you are not showing very much and then we will do the ultrasound and see how the little one is doing. Sound good?" She asks. "Yeah." We both say.

After the doctor measures my stomach and asks a few more questions, she turns on the ultrasound machine. Pulling my shirt up and unzipping my pants, she puts the cool gel on my stomach and moves the wand around. Turning on the volume like Tara did a month ago, we hear the sweet little _lub dub lub dub_ and I look at Koz who's smiling from ear to ear. "Is that my kid?" He asks. "Yes, that is the baby's heartbeat. Good and strong." The doctor tells him. She moves the wand a little more and the baby comes up on the screen. "This little thing here, is your little one. Good and healthy. Looks great guys. Congrats. Looks like you are 12 weeks along now. We will still do monthly appointments until the last couple of months and then we will do them weekly after that. You are already taking your prenatals so, looks like you are good to go. I'll print these pictures out so you two can show them off." She hands Koz the ultrasound pictures leaving me to wipe off my stomach and put myself back together. We walked out to the receptionist to make another appointment for the next month. Life could not get better.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 *****Six Months Pregnant*****

Sitting here in the waiting room for my six month checkup, Herm sits beside me and looks like he is as nervous as I am about finding out the gender. We have started buying things for the nursery but doing neutral colors until we find out if we need pink or blue. I feel Herm intertwine his fingers with mine as I look up at him with a small smile. He pulls my hand up to his mouth and places a kiss to my knuckles.

A few minutes later, the nurse calls my name and we follow her to the back. "How are you feeling Julie?" The nurse asked. "Good. Morning sickness is gone finally." I tell her. She takes my weight, blood and urine just like every other time before leading us to the exam room. "What's the pool up to now?" I asked Herm. "What?" He looks at me surprised. "You think I didn't know there is a pool? And I know you bet on us having a boy." I tell him. "It's up to $500." But the only ones betting a boy are me and Gemma." He tells me.

The doctor finally walks in looking at my file, "Well, everything looks good. Your weight is right where I expected you to be and all of your levels look good. I see the morning sickness has stopped." She states looking at me with a smile. "Have you felt the baby moving much?" She asked. "Yeah, Daddy finally felt little one kick him last night." I laugh. "Good. Now let's see how the little one is doing. Are we wanting to know the gender?" She asks. We both answer with an excited "YES!"

Putting the cool gel on my stomach and moving the wand around, we hear the _lub dub lub dub_ of the baby's heartbeat. "Good and strong. Perfect." Moving the wand a little more, we see our baby come into view. Perfect little features as the doctor points out the nose, stomach and toes. "Now to find out the gender." the doctor says. Moving the wand around, she stops and looks at us with a huge smile, "Looks like you have yourself a very healthy baby boy." I look at Herm and he has a huge smile on his face. "See, I told you I only make boys." He said before placing a kiss to my lips.

Pulling into the lot after the appointment, we walk into the clubhouse with more ultrasound pictures in tow and Herm yells out "IT'S A BOY!" Everyone comes towards us with congrats and hugs. "Looks like we will have another patched member coming up the ranks. You okay with that momma?" Tig asked me. I just looked at him and smiled, "Absolutely."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 *****Nine months pregnant*****

"Fuck" I say standing in front of the mirror. "What's wrong babe?" Herm asked as he puts his arms around me from behind, putting his hands on my stomach. "I can't see my feet. I don't even know if my shoes match." I tell him laughing a little. "Babe, your shoes match. You look great." he tells me kissing my cheek. "Thank, Herm." I turn in his arms and put my arms around his neck. "I know you were pretty much thrown into this relationship but I want you to know that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Thank you." I kiss his lips and he smiles. "I know you didn't get the whole dating thing before we got serious but I don't regret anything. You are mine. I love you and our little monster." he tells me as his hand rubs my stomach. "You know, we never talked about names. He will be here soon. I finished unpacking everything from the baby shower so we have everything but a name." I tell him. He pulls me over to the bed and we sit down beside each other. "Are there any names you like?" he asked me. "I was thinking Herman Evan Jr and we could call him EJ." I suggested hoping he liked it. "You want to name him after me?" he asked. "Herm, you are the most loving and compassionate man I have ever known. Of course I want him to be named after you." I tell him as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Well, I guess EJ it is." he says smiling. "I love you Julie." he says before standing up and pulling me up with him. "Time to head to the clubhouse." he tells me.

Walking into the clubhouse, I see all of the people I have grown to love so much. These people have become my family. Standing around talking to everyone, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I head to the bathroom in Herm's dorm and feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I had been feeling little contractions all day but didn't say anything to Herm so that I didn't freak him out until it was time. Walking back out to the bar, I sat on a stool and ordered a water. The croweater tending bar brought me one over and asked "are you feeling okay?" I just smiled and told her "Yeah, just need to sit for a while." She smiled back and walked over to the other side of the bar. A little while later, I feel another pain but was able to conceal it pretty well. I walked over to Koz and he put his arm around me. "You okay babe, you don't look so good." he asks me. "Yeah, I think I just over did it to day." I tell him. Before anyone could say anything else, I feel water gush down my legs. "Shit! Babe, my water just broke." I tell him. He looks at me and smiles. "Let's go!" he shouts. Thinking it was just going to be us going, I see everyone heading to bikes and cars and Koz kisses my knuckles while he pulls out of the lot and tells me, "You think the family is going to miss this? They will be in the waiting room if we need anything." I couldn't help but smile just as another contraction hit.

We made it to the hospital when the doctor comes in to check me. "Well, Julie, looks like your little man is ready to meet the world. You are at 7cm so it shouldn't be too much longer. Do you want an epidural?" she asked. "Yes if it isn't too late to get it." I answer. She smiles and leaves. A few minutes later another doctor comes in and says "Julie, I am Dr Davis. I will be giving you your epidural. I need you to sit on the side of the bed. Dad can you stand in front of her for her to hold on to? Julie, I need to you slouch your back. You are going to feel the needle enter your lower back but within a couple of minutes you will start to feel everything from the waist down go numb. I will count to three. 1,2,3, stick. There you go." he tells me after sticking the needle in my back and I have already started to feel some of the pressure dull. "Thank you." I tell him as Herm helps me lay back down. A little bit later, I am not feeling anything but just enough pressure to tell me I am having a contraction but not enough to make me feel uncomfortable when the doctor comes back in. "Alright, Julie. Let's see where we are." she says before inserting her fingers to see how much I have dilated. "Well, we are at 10cm. Time to push this little man out." she tells me smiling. I had Herm by my side holding one leg up with one hand and his other hand holding mine and another nurse on the other side doing the same thing. "Alright Julie, when this next contraction hits, I want you to bear down really hard and push. Push to the count of ten and then breathe." she instructs. The contraction hits and I hear her count "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 and breathe." After three more pushes, I hear EJ crying. Herm kisses me and says "I love you Julie." before he heads over to check out our little boy. The doctor finishes with me as Herm carries our son over to me and places him in my arms. "Oh my God, Herm, he looks just like you!" I say with tears in my eyes. "He does. I can't believe it. We have a son." he tells me as he lays down on the bed with us and holds both of us close. I can't believe I have a family. This was something I never thought I would have.

The next few hours were spent with club members and family coming in to see EJ and congratulate us. I couldn't stop the smile on my face and neither could he. After a couple of days we were able to go home and Herm was there to drive us home. Walking into the house, I see the entire club and some from Tacoma that had come in just to see Herm's son. He had on his SOA beanie and Gemma handed me a small box while Herm was showing EJ off. "Gemma, you didn't have to." I hug her and opened the box. There was a white onsie that had the design of a kutte that said "S.A.A in training" on it. "Herm, look at this. Gemma got him his first Kutte." I hold it up and you could see how proud he was. He walked over and kissed Gemma on the cheek thanking her. "You can thank me by giving me my grandson." she tells him. I looked at her and she just smiled and winked at me. I have a family. A real family and for the first time in my life I feel totally complete.

After everyone left, Herm and I were sitting in bed when EJ started crying. "I got him." Herm tells me. He gets up and brings EJ to me to nurse when I see something in his little hand. "Herm, what's this?" I asked and he took the ring out of the baby's hand and slid it on my finger. "Jules, will you marry me?" Tears started rolling down my face as I looked at him and smiled "Yes, Herm. I will marry you." He kisses me and snuggles into the bed with me and our son. Life could not get better.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A few days have gone by and Herm was back to work as well as back to club business but EJ and I were enjoying our day at home just relaxing. I decided that since we were getting married that I didn't know the first thing about planning a wedding so I called the only one that I knew would know what to do. "Hello" Gemma answered. "Hey Gem. It's Julie. Can you come over for a little bit? I need to talk to you about something." I asked her. "Sure baby, I'll bring lunch and we can talk. I'm leaving now." she tells me before hanging up. I look at EJ in his swing, "Looks like Grandma is on her way."

Shortly after calling Gemma she knocks on the door. Letting her in, we are sitting in the kitchen while EJ sleeps and she asked me "What do you want to talk to me about?" I smile at her and hold up my hand. "Oh Sweetheart. He asked you?" she asked sounding really happy for me. "Yeah. He had it in EJ's hand. But Gemma, I don't know the first thing about planning a wedding. Can you help me?" I asked her. "Baby girl, you are the closest thing I have to a daughter. I would love to help you." she says. "So, you won't mind playing mother of the bride?" I asked laughing. "Sweetheart, it's my pleasure." she says and I can tell she is as happy as I am. We talk a little more about what I want for a wedding but told her that we have not picked a date yet. Then we start talking about the baby. "You know, you never told me where you got the name EJ from." Gemma asked me. "Oh. He is actually named Herman Evan Kozik Jr. So EJ for short." I tell her. She smiles showing me that it makes sense. "Gemma, he is the first man to ever show me love and compassion. It's only right that our first son be named after him." I tell her. "Jules, I could not agree more. I know your guys were pretty much thrown together but you have made it work. You have been through hell in your life. You deserve some happiness." She tells me. After talking a little more and her feeding EJ, she gets up to leave. "I'll call you next week and we will start getting some planning going." I hug her goodbye and sit down on the couch to rock my son to sleep.

Later that night, Herm comes in the front door. Walking over to me, he takes EJ from me and sits down beside me. "How was your day?" I asked him. "Good. Tiring but good. Yours?" he asked. "Good. I called Gemma over today to tell her about us getting married and asked her if she would help me plan the wedding since I don't have a mom to help me, she is the closest thing. That's okay right?" I asked, a little unsure. "Sweetheart, you just gave her another grandson and asked her to be mother of the bride? You just made her year." He says laughing. "She told me that we needed to pick a date." I looked at him to see what he thought. He looked at me and placed a hand on my knee "How about 4 months from today. Will that work?" he asked. "Yes, babe. That's perfect." I tell him. I walk into the kitchen to start dinner while he is spending time with our son. After we eat, I bathe EJ and he feeds him and rocks him to sleep. Climbing into bed, he pulls me closer and tells me something that I never thought I would ever hear, "You and EJ are the most important things in my life. I love you so much." Smiling, I decide that even if I can't have sex for six weeks didn't mean he had to suffer. Climbing down the bed, I pull down his boxers and start to show my man just how much I love him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Waking up the next morning, Herm is gone. I listen through the monitor and hear Herm talking to our son. "Little man, Mommy and Daddy love you so much. I never thought I would have a family but here you are. Your Mommy has made me so happy and you have made me so proud and you aren't a week old. I love you E-Man." I couldn't help but smile. Getting up, I walk into the nursery and just stand there leaning on the door frame watching him. Looking up at me, Herm smiles. "Morning babe. How'd you sleep?" he asked. "Good. How about you?" I asked. His smile got wider "Best sleep of my life." he says. Laughing softly, I walk over and kiss his lips and kiss the top of EJ's head. "I already fed him, he should be going back down for a little while." Herm tells me. "Okay, I'll start the coffee and start breakfast." I tell him before walking out of the nursery and down the hall to the kitchen.

Breakfast is done and before I can call down the hall to Herm, he walks into the kitchen fully dressed hanging his kutte on the back of the chair. "Hap just called. Got enough for one more?" he asked. "Yeah, there's enough." And as if on cue, Happy walks into the house and greets Herm. Walking over to me he kisses my temple. "Hey little girl." he says. "Hey Hap. Sit, food's done." I tell him and they both sit at the table as I plate the food and bring them over with fresh cups of coffee. After breakfast is done, the boys go out onto the deck to have a smoke while I clean up. As I am finishing cleaning, they come in and Herm tells me. "I gotta head to the clubhouse. Church." I look at him confused. "Leadership challenge." He says to me. "Oh. Be careful. Both of you." I say pointing at them both. They both kiss my cheek and head out the door. Happy has been Herm's best friend for years and has become like a big brother to me.

Later that evening, Herm walks in the door like he always does and drops down on the couch. EJ is in his swing looking around and I grab a beer out of the fridge before walking in and joining him, handing him his beer. "Thanks babe." He says putting his hand on my knee like he does every night. "Long day?" I asked. "Yeah. Been trying to get everything on track." he says. We agreed a long time ago that we would have full disclosure so I know what all goes on in the club. "You wanna talk about it?" I asked him, knowing that if he doesn't tell me now he will when he wraps his head around it. "Voted Clay out of the gavel today. Jax is the new prez." He says. "Wow. You all good with that?" I asked. "Yeah, we are. Found out some shit. Clay was behind JT's death and found out he killed Piney." I looked at him shocked. "Meyhem?" I asked. "Not this time but can be voted again later. Jax needs him to get out of this cartel shit." Taking another drink of his beer, he looks at me. "What?" he asked. "Getting out isn't going to be easy but the best way to go is to offer something to replace what you guys have. Better offer. Have you guys thought about working something out with some of the local crews like Mayans or Niners? Maybe if you could show them that passing that business on to them would bring in more money because they cover a larger area and the prisons where you guys don't." I tell him. Thinking it over, Herm kisses me and smiles. "Let me call Jax. That might actually work." He says before getting up and walking out onto the patio to call Jax.

The next morning they are all sitting in church and Jax and Herm are telling the guys the plan that I suggested. They all seem to agree that it is worth a shot and probably the best bet. After church is done, Herm comes home and tells me the good news. "Hey baby." He says kissing my lips softly. "Hey. How'd it go?" I asked, a little nervous. "Guys liked the idea. Thinks it might be the best way to go. Just have to work out the details with the other crews and see what we can work out." he tells me. "Good. I'm glad to hear." I tell him. "You know, for someone that didn't grow up around the club, you sure seem to have an understanding of how to do things." he says. "Well, what helps is you don't keep things from me. I just want to do whatever it takes to keep my future husband safe." I tell him.

 *****Four months later*****

Standing in one of the tents set up on the Reservation, Gemma is helping me with the finishing details before walking down the aisle. I asked Tig to give me away since I don't really have a father figure around. Tig walks in, "Ready to go Doll Face?" he asked. "Ready as I'll ever be." I smile. Gemma kisses my cheek and takes EJ from his carrier and walks out to where the ceremony will take place and takes her seat, holding our son. "Let's do this." I tell Tig as we walk out to get started.

Walking up to the makeshift altar, I see Herm, standing there in a white button down, dark jeans and his Kutte. I am wearing a knee length, white lace, simple dress and white heels. Standing in front of the 'preacher man' he start the ceremony. "Who gives this woman away to be married?" he asked. Tig spoke up "I do, even though I shouldn't." he cracks a smile and we all laugh knowing he's messing around. And then on to the vows. "Do you Herman Kozik, take Julie James to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward?" Herm smiles and says "I do." He turns to me and asked. "Julie James, do you take Herman Kozik to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward?" I smile at Herm and say "I do." Now onto the rings. Tara hands me the ring to put on Herm's finger, "With this ring, I vow my love, respect and loyalty." I slide the ring onto his finger. Happy hands him the ring for my finger. "With this ring, I vow my love, respect and loyalty." Happy leans forward "Say it." I look at him confused and he says "And I promise to treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley." and the rest of the Sons say that last part with him. I couldn't help but laugh. "By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss your bride." He says and Herm does just that. The rest of the night is spent drinking and partying. Gemma leaves with EJ for the night to give us a chance to have our wedding night together. Taking me home, he carries me across the threshold and I whisper, "Make love to me Mr. Kozik." He smiles as we head towards the bedroom, "As you wish, Mrs. Kozik."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Waking up the next morning still in my husband's arms, I can't help but smile. Deciding that he needed a special wake up, I climb underneath the covers, seeing that we are both still naked, I start to lick up and down his shaft, feeling him get hard under my tongue. Taking him fully into my mouth, I bob my head up and down as I feel his fingers tangle in my hair guiding me at the pace he wants. Hearing him start to moan a little I can't help but smile. He pulls me off of him and guides me up to straddle him. Straddling his hips, I slowly slide down on his hardened member and start to ride my husband. Looking into his eyes, he pulls me down to him to kiss me deeply before turning us over and thrusting in and out hard and fast, just like I like it making me lose control and fall over the edge to find my release. After causing me to climax a couple of more times, he finds his release and I feel him spill his seed inside of me.

Coming down from our blissful high, we get up and shower and go to Hanna's' for breakfast. "What can I get for you guys?" the waitress asked. "Coffee, black, the breakfast platter and an orange juice please." I say. Herm looks at her and says "Make mine the same." He turns to me and smiles. As we sat there waiting for our food, I can't help but look at the man in front of me. I still can't believe I went from being with my dad and being abused to being married with a child. I'm happy. "What are you thinking about?" he asked me. "Us. How far we have come. I never thought that I would have a family of my own." He smiles at me as the waitress puts our food down in front of us.

Finishing our breakfast, we walk outside and before we can get to his bike, my phone rings. "Hello?" I answer and then I feel my heart drop. "What do you mean he's gone? Where are you? We will be right there." I tell her and jump on the bike. "We gotta get to the clubhouse. Someone took EJ!" I tell him. He kicks over the engine and we take off to the clubhouse to find out what happened to our son.

Pulling up at the clubhouse, we run in and see Gemma with an icepack to her head. "Gem, what happened? Where's my son?" I asked her frantic. "I brought him here this morning with me and was in the office. One of the croweaters came in talking to me and talking about how it isn't fair. That she wanted Koz and then she hit me over the head and knocked me out. When I woke up, she was gone and so was EJ." she tells me. "Who was it?" Herm asked. "Megan." She said. "Juice is tracking her phone and we are doing all we can to find EJ. We will find him." Jax assures me. "Please Jax. That's my baby." I plead. Herm holds me closer as I begin to sob.

Thirty minutes later the guys are in church and Gemma is sitting with me when Ima walks in. I stand up and walk up and get in her face. "Where the fuck is she?" I say standing nose to nose. "Hold up. Who do you think you are?" she says acting offended. "I'm the Old Lady that is going to gut your nasty ass if you don't tell me where the fuck Megan is." I tell her, Gemma holding me back. "Oh honey, she's right where she needs to be. You don't deserve to be his wife. She does. So, she is at home, with her son, waiting on him to come home to her." she tells me and my face goes white. The prospect hears this and heads to the chapel. The guys come out and Jax grabs her by the hair and makes her tell us where Megan is. "She's at their house. She told me that she was the one that deserved to be Koz's wife and have his son so she is at his house waiting on him to come home." she tells us. "You knew she was taking my son and you didn't say anything?" I asked her seething. "Yeah. You don't belong here. We have been here longer than you and you just walk in here and snatch up one of the best ones. You don't deserve any of it." she tells me. "Rat! Tie this bitch up and take her to the cabin. Stay there until we get there." Jax tells her. They all head to their bikes and I grab Herm. "I'm coming. That kill is mine." Herm takes my hand and leads me to the bike to go find our son.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Pulling up to the house, getting off the bike, I head for the front door. Herm grabs my hand and says "Babe. Let me go in first. I'm the one she wants. Just stay here, please." I look at him and understand so I nod my head agreeing. Bobby stays outside with me with his arms around me, talking to me and trying to keep me calm telling me that they will get EJ and he will be fine.

Herm walks into the house, and Bobby walks me to the front door where I can hear what is going on. "Koz, baby, we missed you." Megan says, getting up from the couch where she was sitting holding EJ. "What are you doing, Megan?" Herm asked her. "I'm doing what I should have done before that bitch came along. I'm the one that you should be with. How the hell could you want that fat cow and she's even bigger now that she has had EJ." she says. I want nothing more than to walk into the house and strangle her but I will get my chance. "You're crazy Megan. I don't want you. I love Julie. I want Julie. She is the mother of my son. Not you. It will never be you." he tells her. I pull away from Bobby and walk in the door. Megan sees me and smirks. "Julie. I told you he was mine. EJ is mine. You can get your shit and get out of our house now." she tells me. "Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere but it's okay. We are going to have a little fun." I tell her. By this time, Herm has moved closer and taken EJ from her arms. Handing EJ to Chibs, he takes the baby into his room and lays him down. She tries to run but Happy stops her and pins her to the wall. "Juice, can you stay here with EJ until Gemma can get here?" I asked. "You got it. I'll call her now for you. I'll meet you at the cabin after." he tells me. Thanking him Happy takes Megan out to the garage where we lock her in the trunk of my car.

Pulling into the driveway of the cabin, Happy and Opie get Megan out of the trunk and take her inside where Ima is bound and gagged. They do the same to Megan. Before we walk in the front door, Herm stops me. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can take care of it if you don't want to." He tells me. "Herm, I'm okay. This bitched took our son. That is all the motivation I need." I tell him. Walking into the house, seeing Ima and Megan squirming, I feel a calm coming over me. I walk up to Megan. "You honestly thought you could take my son and I would just simple walk away?" I asked her. "EJ is MY son. Not yours. This man right here?" I say pointing to Herm, "Is MY husband. Not yours. They will never be yours." I asked everyone to leave the room but Herm. They all do as I asked and I pull Herm up against me and kiss him passionately. Feeling him pick me up, he puts me against the wall, sensing what I was planning, and starts to pull off my pants and unzipping his own. He enters me and thrusts in and out of me in front of Ima and Megan. As we both find our release, he puts me down and we redress. I walk over to Megan and say "That is the closest you will ever get to seeing my man again. Hope you enjoyed it." I walked over to Ima and got in her face. "You helped her. You helped her kidnap my son. What were you hoping to get out of this?" I asked her and took her gag out. "I was hoping you would be gone. No one wants you here. You just walked in and everyone fell at your fucking feet." she says and I can't believe what she is saying. "So you thought, what? He would just leave me and be with her? That still doesn't get you anything." I say. "She told me she would help me get Jax." she says. I laugh. "Jax will never want you. Ever."

Herm asked everyone to come back in and Herm walks over with his gun and puts a bullet in Ima's head, killing her instantly. Megan begins to scream around her gag. "You want me to let you go? Think you can be good?" I asked her. She frantically nods her head yes. "Well, I don't." I say. Herm hands me his gun and I put it to her forehead and pull the trigger. Her head falls back and she is left there, lifeless.

"I'm proud of you babe." Herm says. Jax comes over to us. "You okay, Julie?" I look at him and nod my head yes. "You guys go be with your son. We will clean this up." he tells us. We head out to the car and head home. Walking in, we see Gemma and Juice and Juice leaves to head up to the cabin. "You okay baby?" Gemma asked me. Taking EJ from her I say, "Absolutely perfect."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sitting down on the couch with EJ in my arms, I finally let myself feel some emotion. I feel the tears running down my face as EJ looks at me and smiles. Herm sits next to me and pulls us closer. Kissing my temple he says "You okay momma?" Looking up at him, I say, "I will be. I can't believe she took him. Herm, she took our little boy." I couldn't help the tears that flowed down my face as I sobbed. Herm held me though. While holding me, I was stroking EJ's face while Herm was stroking his head of blonde hair. "He looks so much like you, Herm." I tell him, smiling once the tears slowed down. "Yeah, poor kid." Herm jokes. We both laugh a little and EJ just smiles bigger like he doesn't have a care in the world.

After feeding EJ and giving him a bath, I couldn't bring myself to put him in his crib. "Want to let him sleep with us?" Herm asked sensing my worry. "Yeah. That would be good." I tell him. Carrying EJ to the bedroom, I change his diaper and as he is laying on the bed, Herm looks over my shoulder and says "Thank you." I look at him confused. "For what?" I asked. "For being my wife. Giving me my son. Just being with me." I look at him and smile, "Well, as far as being with you, that was all your doing sweetheart. Best decision you ever made." I say laughing softly. "Yeah, it was." he says and kisses my shoulder before picking EJ up and holding him close. I pull out my phone and snap a picture of my husband and my son. The two most important men in my life. We laid down and put EJ between us and drifted off to sleep.

Waking up the next morning, Herm and EJ are gone. For a moment I panic before getting out of bed and running to the living room to see Herm feeding EJ a bottle. Taking a deep breath to control my heartbeat, Herm looks up at me and sees the fear in my eyes. "Hey babe. You okay?" he asked looking concerned. Walking over, I sat down next to him and start playing with EJ's feet. "Yeah. Just woke up and you both were gone and kind of panicked a little." I tell him. "Shit, babe. Sorry. I just didn't want to wake you. You were sleeping so good." he tells me. "No, it's fine. Just still a little freaked out about yesterday." I tell him. "Yeah, I still can't believe you got me to fuck you in front of them." he says with a little smirk. "Well, I wanted them to see what I have and they don't. But I won't say it wasn't hot as hell." I tell him. "Yeah, it was definitely hot. But no more audiences. I don't like sharing" he tells me. "Not even if I bring a croweater in for a threesome? I thought all men loved that?" I asked with an evil smile. "Fuck, babe, don't mess with a man like that. Not good to have a boner when I'm holding my child." He tells me and I can't help but laugh. Taking EJ from him, I burped him and changed his diaper before putting him in his swing. "What would you do if I brought a croweater in?" I asked him to see his reaction. "Babe, That's every man's dream but like I said. I don't share. Man or woman." he tells me as he pulls me closer. Looking at EJ and seeing he is back to sleep, I straddle Herm and asked "How quiet can you be?" he pushes his shorts and boxers down and pushes my panties to the side and says "Question is, how quiet can you be?" and he kisses me as he enters me. Sliding up and down on his hard member, we kiss each other to muffle the moans. Sex with Herm always feels amazing. I have never been with someone that was so gentle and caring and that made it even better. Reaching our release together, he lays down on the couch and pulls me to lay with him as we enjoy our wedded bliss while our son is sleeping safe and sound.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

We both must have dozed off because we were both woken up by the sound of EJ crying. Getting up, I pick him up and carry him to the nursery to change him while Herm fixes his bottle. Sitting in the rocker that Herm put in there, Herm hands me the bottle and I start feeding him. After he finishes the bottle and I burp him, I carry him out to the living room and put him on his playmat to play. Herm sits on the couch and turns the TV on while I start lunch. Putting the grilled ham and cheese sandwiches onto two plates, I carry them out to the coffee table and head back for our drinks. We both sit, eating, and watching EJ play. He is such a happy baby.

After finishing lunch, I cleaned the kitchen and Herm calls me into the living room. I walk in and see that EJ is laying on his stomach and trying to turn over. After a couple of tries, he rolls over to his back and I cover my mouth, surprised. "Oh shit. He rolled over." I say. Herms smiles wide and gets in the floor to play with EJ. I run to the nursery and add that to his baby book. Coming back to the living room, I watch Herm play with our son and can't help but smile. He is so good with EJ. Herm is still looking at EJ and asked. "Do you want more kids?" I look at him shocked. "Babe, he's only four months old." I say. He looks at me and says "I know but do you want more kids?" I think about it for a minute and tell him, "I want however many kids you want to give me. Herm, I love you and I love EJ. If you want more kids, I'm all for it but please, can we at least wait until he is potty trained?" I asked laughing a little. "Yeah babe." he says but he isn't smiling. Getting down in the floor, I sat next to him and asked "What's wrong?" He pulls me closer and says "I want a big family. At least three kids." I smile softly and say "Then we will have three kids. How about this. We don't try. We just don't prevent it and let it happen when it happens." He looks at me and smiles, "That sounds like a plan."

 *****Eight months later*****

"Babe, can you hand me that candle?" I asked Herm. He hands me the candle as everyone gathers around to celebrate EJ's first birthday. We all sing happy birthday to him and help him blow out the candle before he smashes his face into it. We all laugh and Lyla shows me the digital camera so that I can see the picture. She captured it perfectly. After the cake, I carry EJ into the bathroom to clean him up and Gemma walks in to talk to me. "How are you feeling Sweetheart?" she asked me. "I'm good. A little nauseous but good." I tell her. I have been getting sick these last couple of mornings but I didn't tell Herm. "I picked up the test on the way here. I'll stay and help clean up when everyone leaves and be with you when you take it if you want." she says. "That would be great, Gem. Thanks. I don't want to tell Herm until I take the test." I tell her. We walk back out to the party and putting EJ down, he hobbles straight to his daddy. Big shocker there. EJ loves Herm. Sometimes I think he loves Herm more than he loves me.

An hour later, the guys and their families all start to leave and Gemma and I start cleaning up while Herm keeps EJ occupied. Gemma helps me take the gifts to EJ's room and we head into the bathroom. I take the test and we wait. The test says three minutes and as soon as the three minutes are up, I see positive result. Smiling, I walk out of the bathroom with Gemma behind me. Gemma takes EJ from Herm and I tell him I need him in the kitchen. Walking into the kitchen, I have my hands behind my back. "What's up?" he asked me. "Well, I have a little surprise for you, babe." He looks at me a little confused and then I hand him the positive pregnancy test. "Really?" he asked, smiling huge. Picking me up, he kisses me hard, "We're having a baby?" I nod my head yes and he kisses me again. We walk into the living room and Gemma hands EJ to me and hugs Herm and tells him, "Congrats Daddy." before kissing me and EJ each on the cheek and seeing her way out. "I can't believe you're pregnant." he tells me, still in shock. 'Yeah, do you know how hard it was to keep you from finding out I was getting sick every morning?" I tell him. "I'll call in the morning and make an appointment with the doctor to see how far along we are." I tell him. He kisses me again and we cuddle on the couch with EJ sitting in his lap.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Herm comes with me to the doctor the next morning. They were able to work me in. "What seems to be the problem today?" the doctor asked. "I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive so we wanted to confirm it." I tell her. "Okay, well, let's draw some blood and see what we can find out." she says before sending the nurse in to draw blood. Once the blood is drawn, we sit and wait. After about twenty minutes, the doctor comes back in, smiling, "Well, looks like it is confirmed. Now, this is your second pregnancy?" she asked, looking at my chart. "Yes. We have a one year old." I tell her. "Okay, so you know about the prenatals and the appointments so, let's get that ultrasound and see how far along you are."

We walk into another room and I lay on the bed. The doctor puts the cold gel on my stomach and she moves the wand around. Hearing the heartbeat, I see Herm smiling. Then she moves the wand again and our little monster is on the screen. "There you go. Looks like you are eleven weeks along. Now, you will need another appointment in a month, here are your ultrasound pictures and your prescription for your prenatals. Congratulations." she says before walking out of the room. Leaving the doctor's office, we head out to my car and his bike and head to the clubhouse to tell everyone and to pick up EJ.

Pulling onto the lot, I can't help but smile. Just a few years ago, I didn't even know this place existed. Now, it is a second home. Walking in, we walk to the bar and see everyone in there. "Beer Julie?" the croweater asked me. "No thanks. Water please." she smiles and hands me the water. "Water? Fuck. Are you pregnant again?" Tig jokes. "As a matter of fact, I am." I tell them. They all look at me shocked and Herm and I bust out laughing. "Are you serious?" Jax asked me. "Yep." I say and we show them the ultrasound. Everyone cheers and congratulates us.

After we celebrated a few minutes, I tell Herm, "I'll be back. I'm going to get EJ from Gemma." He kisses me on the lips before I walk across the lot to the office. Walking in, Gemma asked me, "Well?" I smile and hand her an ultrasound picture. "Eleven weeks. How was little man?" I asked. "He was perfect as always. Congrats Sweetheart." she tells me. "Thanks Gemma. Herm and I were talking right after EJ was kidnapped and he told me he wants at least three kids. I want a big family." I tell her. "Well, baby, you are young and healthy and so is he so I don't see anything wrong with that. Plus you know I love being Gramma." she tells me smiling. Picking up EJ, I tell him "Come on, let's go see Daddy."

Walking into the clubhouse, I see a girl in there that I have never seen before and Herm is arguing with her. "Who's that?" I asked. Tig pulls me outside and says "She's just someone trying to start shit. Don't worry about her." I look at him and see sympathy in his eyes. "Did he hit that? Did he sleep with her?" I asked. When Tig doesn't answer, that tells me what I feared. Gemma hears what's going on and takes EJ from me. "Go handle your shit. I'll take him with me tonight." she says. Handing my son over, I march back into the clubhouse and walk over to where Herm and this chick is standing. "You fuck her?" I asked him. He looks at me and says "Baby please. Let me explain." I look at her and she is smirking. Looking back at him I tell him, "You cheated on me. You sorry piece of shit. Keep your ass here. I'll have your shit packed and send it over tomorrow. As far as you," I say to the girl, "be glad I'm pregnant or I would slit your fucking throat." I say. I run out to the car with tears in my eyes and Herm follows me. He grabs me before I get the door opened and pushes me against the car. "Baby, please. I fucked up. I'm so sorry." he says. "Is this why you wanted me to get pregnant again? Did you think it would keep me from leaving your cheating ass? I don't want you anywhere near me." I say as I get in my car and leave him standing there in the middle of the lot.

I pull in the driveway and stop my car. I lay my head in my hands and sob. What am I going to do? How could I have been so stupid? Believing someone could love me and be faithful. I gather myself together and walk in the house to see Gemma coming out of EJ's room. "Hey baby. How you holding up?" Gemma asked. "EJ sleeping?" I asked. "Yes he is. Now talk to me. What is going on?" she asked as she pulls me to the couch. "That girl that was at the lot, he slept with her." I tell her as the tears start pouring down my face. I try to get myself together. "Can you have the prospects bring some boxes over in the morning so I can get his things packed up? I don't want him here anymore." I asked her. "Why don't you give both of you time to cool off before you do that baby girl and then talk to him?" she asked. "I don't want to talk to him. I have to figure out how I'm going to raise two kids by myself. I don't want him anymore." I tell her. "Well, just think about it. I'll head out. Call me if you need me." she tells me. I nod my understanding and she lets herself out. What am I going to do?

A couple of hours later, I am laying on the couch, still crying when I hear the door open and in walks Herm. "What are you doing here?" I asked, not looking at him. "I was wondering if we could talk?" he asked. "Talk." I say still not looking at him. "Julie, I'm sorry. I know I fucked up. Baby, I need you. I need our kids." he pleads with me. I sit there and don't say anything for a while. He sits down next to me and there are only inches between us but we are not touching. After a while, I look down at my wedding rings and ask, "Why am I not good enough?" He looks at me shocked and gets on his knees in front of me and takes my face in his hands, "Baby, don't ever think you aren't good enough. This was on me, not you. I am so sorry. It happened on a run. I won't let it happen again. Please baby just don't leave me." He pleads as he lays his head in my lap. "I can't. I need some time, Herm. You cheated on me and I can't even do anything about it. So, now I'm here having to try to figure out how I'm going to take care of two kids, alone. I can't do this, Herm. You took me away from my father and even my father didn't make me feel this worthless. Herm, please, just leave. I'll have your things brought to the clubhouse in a day or two." I tell him. He stands up, looks at me and says, "I'm not leaving my home, my wife or my kids. I'll sleep on the couch but I'm not leaving." he tells me. Standing up and heading to the bedroom, I say, "whatever, Herm." I walk into the bedroom, close the door and climb in bed to cry myself to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The next month goes by slowly. The morning sickness is worse and I can't sleep. When we are both up, we work around each other barely speaking. "I have an appointment today." I tell him. "What time?" he asked, both of us still not looking at each other. "Noon." I tell him. "I'll be there." he says before kissing EJ on top of the head and walking out the door. As soon as I hear the bike leave, I run to the trashcan and get sick...again. I have been hiding how sick I have been from Herm.

Noon rolls around and Herm is sitting at the doctor's office and after my name has been called and he sees I am not there, he calls my phone. No answer. Getting worried he comes home to find me laying on the kitchen floor, EJ crying and I am bleeding. "Fuck!" he shouts. Picking up EJ while calling 911, he then calls Gemma to come get EJ and rides to the hospital in the ambulance with me.

Waking up, I hear beeping. Opening my eyes, I see Herm sitting next to me, crying. "Herm." I whisper. He looks up at me and says "Hey babe. You're awake. Let me get the doctor." I grab his hand and ask, "What happened?" He looks at me sadly and says "Baby, you missed your appointment and wouldn't answer your phone. I came home to find EJ crying and you on the floor passed out and bleeding." I look at him shocked. "Where's EJ?" I asked trying to sit up. "Gemma's." He tells me. "Herm, what happened to the baby?" I asked, scared to know the answer. "We lost the baby. I'm sorry Jules." I look at him and start sobbing into my pillow. He steps back and I grab his hand. "I'm sorry Herm. Please don't leave." I plead with him. "Baby, I'm not going anywhere. I told you I wasn't leaving you." he tells me. Hitting the call button he tells the nurse that I am awake. The doctor comes in and I asked "What happened to my baby?" He looks at me with sad eyes and asks "How have you been feeling lately?" I look at him and say "My morning sickness had been getting worse. Not able to hold anything down at all." he looks at me. "How long has that been happening?" I look at him and say "A couple of weeks." Herm looks at me surprised. "Well, we don't know what caused the miscarriage but we did see that you are severely dehydrated. We are keeping you here for a couple of days for observation. I really am sorry for your loss." he tells us before walking out the door. I start to fall apart.

Later that evening, the only ones here are me and Herm. "Herm." I say. "Yeah baby." he responds, looking up at me. "I'm sorry." I tell him. "For what baby? You didn't do anything." he tells me. "I will understand if you want to go. We will figure something out with EJ." I tell him. "What makes you think I am leaving?" he asked. "Herm, I wasn't good enough to make you stay faithful and then can't even give you the kids you want. Why the hell would you stay?" I asked. He looks at me and says, "Move over." I do as he asked and he lays down with me and pulls me to him. "Me cheating was my mistake. Not yours. You didn't do anything wrong. And the baby? Yeah, it sucks but we will have other kids. But you have to tell me when something feels wrong. I don't want anyone but you. I love you." he tells me. I look up at him and he kisses me softly before deepening the kiss. Knowing we can't take it further, he pulls away and I asked him "Will you move back into the bedroom with me?" he smiles and says "Consider it done."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A couple of days later, I was released from the hospital and Herm and I went home. Walking inside, I go straight to the kitchen for a drink of water. Looking down at the floor where I fell, I see that it has been cleaned up. "Prospect cleaned it. Said he didn't want you coming home to have to see it." Herm tells me. "Remind me to thank him." I tell him. Getting my bottled water, I walk to the living room and sit on the couch. These last couple of days, Herm hasn't left my side. "When is EJ coming home?" I asked. "Gemma should have him here anytime." he says. As if summoned, Gemma knocks on the door. Herm lets her in and EJ comes straight to me. I pull him into my lap and hug him tightly. "How's she doing?" I heard Gemma ask Herm. "Just going through the motions right now." Herm says.

Walking over to the couch, Gemma sits next to me and doesn't say anything. She just pulls me to her, hugging me. "Baby, I know what you are dealing with. If and when you are ready to talk about it, just call me." she says. "There's meals prepped in the freezer. Should be enough for a few days. Just put them in the oven to heat them. Luanne and I made sure you two could relax for a few days." she told Herm. "Thanks Gem." he says. "Gemma?" I asked. "Yeah baby." she replies. "Does it get easier?" I asked. "Yeah baby. It doesn't go away, but it gets easier to think about and talk about. Just take your time. But just know, you did everything right. You are a good mom. Don't ever think this had anything to do with you." she tells me. That makes me feel a little better. She hugs us both and kisses EJ on the head and walks out the door.

Sitting next to me, Herm puts his arm around me. "Once I heal from this, I want to try again. That is if you still want me to." I tell him. "Baby, as soon as you are ready, we will try again. I just want you to be happy." he tells me. That night, we gave EJ a bath and put him to bed. I spent the night crying in Herm's arms. I need to get myself past this.

 *****Six months later*****

Herm and I seem to have gotten ourselves in a better place. We are getting along and sleeping in the same bed as well as started trying to have another baby. The doctor said that my body seemed to have healed pretty well after the miscarriage and that she wants to watch me closely this next time at least through the first trimester. Herm and I have gotten back to the point that we can't keep our hands off each other. I still have a momentary moment of weakness but he helps me through it. That crow eater hasn't been back and as far as I know he has stayed faithful. I think the skype sex seems to keep him interested.

I have not been feeling well these last couple of weeks so I finally take the time to head to the doctor. After running the tests and the ultrasound, I find out that I am six weeks pregnant and everything looks good. The doctor tells me that she wants me in there every two weeks this time up until about fifteen weeks so that we can make sure everything is fine.

I get home and that evening, I have Gemma watch EJ and I make a romantic meal for Herm. When he comes home, he is amazed at the dinner I prepared and I told him EJ was at Gramma's. He smiles and says "So Mommy and Daddy get a sexy night?" I laugh and say "Something like that. But after dinner, I have a gift for you." He looks at me and asked "Are you wearing that gift?" I think about it for a second and say, "Sort of." He looks at me confused and I say. "Just sit down and eat and you can open it." We eat and talk about our day and about EJ and then once we are done, he picks me up and carries to the bedroom where I hid the gift. He starts kissing me passionately and working his way down my neck when I push him away slightly. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Nothing. You have to open your gift." I say, moving over to the nightstand. "I thought you were the gift." he says smirking. "I am only part of the gift baby. Here, open this." I tell him and hand him the small flat box. Opening the box, he pulls out the ultrasound picture and then looks at me and says "Are we?" I smile really big and say "Six weeks." He returns to kissing me with such fervor that I can hardly catch my breath. Next thing I know, he is shedding our clothes and inside me, making love to me slowly and passionately.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The next morning, we go to Gemma's to get EJ and when we walk in, Gemma is sitting with EJ at the table feeding him a snack. "Hey Gem." I say. "Hey baby. How was your night?" she asked. "Good. I got something for you." I hand her the envelope and Herm takes EJ from her. She opens the envelope and looks at us with a huge smile. "Another grandbaby?" she asked. "Yeah. Doctor said she wants me in there every two weeks to monitor me up to fifteen weeks to make sure everything is going like it should but yeah. Another grandbaby." I tell her. She stands and hugs us both. We spend a little more time talking to Gemma and decide to head back home.

Once home, we are in the living room playing with EJ when Herm's phone rings. "Yeah. Fuck. Okay. On our way." he says before ending the call. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Pack a bag for us and I'll get EJ's bag. We got lockdown." he tells me. "What's going on?" I asked, getting up and starting to pack our bag. "Death threat left in Tara's car. Want to make sure they are not after anyone else." he tells me. I finished packing our bag and get the playpen out of the closet. Herm takes everything out to my car while I get EJ buckled in. We pull out of the driveway, me and EJ in my car and him on his bike and head to the clubhouse.

Pulling onto the lot, Herm grabs the playpen and our bag while I get EJ's bag and EJ and we head towards the clubhouse. The prospect comes up and grabs EJ's bag and helps Herm get everything into our room while I walk over to Tara where she is sitting with Jax, Abel and Thomas. "Are you okay, Tara?" I asked her, hugging her. "Yeah, it was just a note on the front seat of my car but they don't want to take any chances." she tells me. "I don't blame them. I wouldn't either." I say. "Have you received anything?" she asked. "No. Nothing. Thank God." I say. "Church!" Jax yells and they all pile into the chapel. An hour later, they come out and Herm asked me to follow him to the dorm. I grab EJ and we go into the dorm and he locks the door. "What's going on?" I asked him. "You know we have been in with the cartel right?" he says. "Yeah." I say. "Well, Jax spoke to Romeo and asked him for help to find out who sent the threat and Romeo said that it could be Clay. That he had asked about having a hit done on Tara." he tells me. My face goes white. "Are you serious? What are we going to do?" I asked. "You all are going to be staying here until we take care of this. We are going after Clay. Since Gemma kicked him out and filed for divorce, he has been trying to find a way to get back at the gavel. He is not even allowed here at the compound. Romeo is going to get Clay to meet him and then we are going to take him out. We voted Mayhem." he tells me. Sitting on the bed, I don't know what to think. "Baby, please be careful. Me and our babies need you." I tell him. Standing up, I kiss my husband and he kisses EJ's head. We walk out to the main room and he heads out the door with the rest of the club to take Clay out.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

As the guys are walking out, I grab Happy's hand. "Keep him safe." I tell him and he nods his understanding. We spend the rest of the day sitting around the clubhouse. The only ones here are the Old Ladies and the kids and there are a few Rogue River guys staying here with us while our guys are trying to find Clay. As we sit here, we hear the doors open and in walks Clay with Frankie and Gogo, pulling guns on us. He leads us all into the chapel and Frankie and Gogo are guarding the doors. They checked us all for cell phones but they didn't find the burner that Herm makes me keep in my boot for this exact reason. I slip the phone out of my boot while Tara and Gemma are watching the door, and send Herm a text.

 _Me: Clay is here at the clubhouse. He has all of us closed up in the chapel and has Frankie and Gogo with him._

 _Herm: Get everyone against the back wall and stay down. We are on our way. I love you._

 _Me: I love you too._

I whisper to everyone what Herm said to do and we do as he says. We are all huddled against the back wall and hiding behind the Redwood table. A few minutes later we hear yelling and gunshots and then silence. The chapel doors are thrown open and Jax and Herm came running in, hugging us and checking us for injuries. "Juice, you and Rat keep everyone in here while we clean this shit up." Jax says. Herm kisses me and EJ and heads out to clean up. Jax takes Tara out to one of the dorm rooms to stitch someone up but didn't say who it was.

Almost an hour later, we are lead out of the chapel and I see Happy sitting at the bar with a bandage on his shoulder. I hand EJ to Gemma and run to him. Him being my husband's best friend, he is family. "Happy, oh my God. Are you okay?" I asked him. "I'm okay. This is nothing." He tells me and then takes another drink of his beer. Herm walks up and hugs him and says "Thank you brother." I look at the two of them and then it hits me. "Happy?" I asked. He looked at me and said "I kept my word." I look at him shocked and pull him into another hug and whisper, "Thank you Happy." He took a bullet for my husband to keep him safe because I asked him to.

Clay, Frankie and Gogo are all dead and being taken out to be buried so lockdown is over. We lay down in the bed in the dorm room with EJ between us and we are talking. "What would you think of asking Happy to be both kids' godfather?" I asked. "What brought this on?" he asked me. "Herm, he took a bullet for you just because I asked him to keep you safe. He's your best friend and loyal as hell." I tell him. "I think that's a great idea." he tells me before we both fall asleep.

The next morning, we get up and head back home. Before we walk out, Herm asked Happy to follow us to the house. Walking in the front door, with Happy behind us, Herm hands him a beer and says, "We need to talk to you about something." Happy looks at us and I speak up. "Happy, you are Herm's best friend and EJ loves you. We were wondering if you would be not only EJ's godfather but the new baby's godfather too?" I asked him. "New baby?" he asked. "Yeah, we are pregnant again." Herm tells him. He stands up and pulls both of us into a hug and tells us that he would be honored to be their godfather. There's no one I would trust more than Happy to be there for our kids.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 *****Twenty weeks pregnant*****

It has been a rough few months. Being at the doctor every two weeks and constantly being monitored has not been that bad but it is the constant worrying and Herm hovering as well as Happy being on my ass about making sure I eat and rest. It's like I have two husbands. At least I am loved. Happy and Herm won't even let my pick EJ up. They pick him up and hand him to me. But we are here today to see if we are having a boy or a girl and because he has been up my ass about everything, we made Happy come along.

Walking into the exam room, the doctor comes in and measures my stomach, takes my vitals and asks the normal question. "I think I still want to keep you coming every two weeks. Things seem to be okay but I just want to make sure we are still taking every precaution." she says. "Okay. That's fine." I say. "Now, how about we find out what you are having?" she asked. Pulling the ultrasound machine over, she puts the gel on my stomach and moves the wand around until we hear the little thumping of the baby's heartbeat. "What the fuck is that?" Happy asked shocked. Laughing, I tell him "That's your godchild's heartbeat." He smiles and says "That's so fucking cool." and we all smile at him. Moving the wand a little more the doctor smiles and asked "Who wants to guess what you are having?" I say "Boy." Herm says "Boy." But Happy says "Girl." The doctor looks at Happy and says "Well, looks like the godfather guessed right." We all look at Happy and we all smile. Leaving the office I asked Happy what made him guess girl and he responded, "I have a godson, needed a goddaughter." like it was the most simple answer in the world.

Sitting at home that night, EJ asleep in my arms, Herm walks into the nursery. "Thought anything about what to name our little princess?" he asked. "Yeah but you can't tell anyone until she gets here." I tell him. He looks at me confused and I say "I want to name her Anna Marie after Happy's mom. I know how much he misses her and I know he is going to love this little girl like he loves EJ. Is that okay?" I asked. "Hell yeah it's okay. She was like another mom to me so that is fine with me. But I agree we don't tell anyone."

 *****Thirty-nine weeks pregnant*****

Sitting at the clubhouse, I had been having contractions all day but didn't tell anyone because they weren't close together yet. Getting up I asked Gemma, "Can you watch EJ a minute? I have to go to the bathroom." She tells me yes and when I come back, she notices me stiffening up a little. "Contraction?" she asked quietly. "Yeah. Been having them all morning but they are still about an hour apart. She doesn't say anything but sticks pretty close to me all day. "Do you have everything done?" she asked. "Yeah, carrier, my go bag and the baby's go bag is in the trunk and even a bag for EJ so that he can stay with you while I am in the hospital." I tell her. "Good. Looks like you are going to be needing them soon." she smiles. A half hour later, I start laughing at something Tig said and all of a sudden I stop and grab my stomach. "Babe, what's wrong?" Herm asked. "My water just broke." The prospect says "Do I need to get her another one?" We all start laughing and Gemma tells him, "No sweetheart. It means she's in labor." We all head outside and Gemma is at the passenger door with EJ for me to kiss him goodbye while Herm is getting his bag out of the trunk. "Call me when she gets here. EJ will be fine with me and Nero." she says. She had been seeing Nero for a little while and he was a really nice guy. They seem to be good for each other and he is great with EJ.

Sixteen hours later, we are holding our little girl. "Herm, can you get Happy please? Just him. Everyone else can come in after." I asked him. "Sure baby." he says and heads out to the waiting room where all the guys have gathered. A few minutes later, Happy and Herm walk into the room. Happy leans over and kisses my cheek "You did good momma." he tells me. Smiling, I hand him his goddaughter and say "Happy, meet your goddaughter, Anna Marie." He looks at me and a smile comes onto his face. "You named her after Ma?" he asked. "Yeah. I know how important she was to you and to Herm. It's only fitting that she gets a strong name." I tell him. He kisses the top of her head and whispers, "I'll protect you with my life."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It has been a couple of weeks since we have been home and it seems like EJ spends most of his time sitting and watching his sister. I have a feeling they will be really close. Herm and Happy walk in the door and EJ goes straight for Herm like he always does. Happy walks over to Anna sleeping in her swing and says, "Give me my baby girl." I pick her up and hand her to him and he sits on the couch and just looks at her. It really is a sight to see, big bad biker holding a newborn. Melts my heart.

Things with the club have been really good lately but something tells me that is going to change. I just have this feeling in my gut that something is going to happen and we won't be able to stop it. I can't shake the feeling. Over the course of my relationship with Herm, Happy and I have grown close as well. If Herm isn't here, I can go to Happy for whatever I need. I honestly think that feels the same way. There have been a few times where Herm would have to head to Tacoma for a few days and Happy would camp out on the couch and help me with the babies. It really is like having two husbands. I mean, hell, I even feed him and do his laundry. Sitting on the couch, we had put the kids to bed, and Herm told me he had something that he wanted to talk to me about. "What's up babe?" I asked. "Things with the club are starting to heat back up and I wanted to talk to you about what to do if something happens." he tells me. "I think we need to. I have had this gut feeling lately that something is going to happen and haven't been able to shake it. That's why I have been on you and Happy about keeping me in the loop on things." I tell him. "It is good that you talked me into getting the insurance and us working out a will but if something happens to me, I want Happy with you. I want him to help you with the kids, the household shit and whatever else you need." he tells me. "Okay. But you can't ask him to do that. He has his own life. He shouldn't have to plan his life around someone else's wife and kids." I tell him. "I already spoke to Hap and if anything happens to me he already said he is moving in. You know he won't take an Old Lady so he will need someone to take care of him too." he explains. "Okay. If that is what you want." I tell him.

Little did we know that having this conversation when we did, was more important than either of us thought. Things did start heating up with the club. They got in with some Russians and that meant he was gone more and so was Happy which meant that I had a prospect with me and the kids. That didn't bother me too much because they would help around the house and help with EJ and Anna. But the nights when I knew that they were not here, I would not sleep well, if at all. I made both of them call me daily and made sure to speak to both of them to make sure both my guys were okay and safe. "How long before you guys are home?" I asked Herm. "Should be home tomorrow night. That is if everything goes well." Herm tells me. "I got Happy's room set up so as soon as you guys are back, he can get moved in." I tell Herm. "You set him up a room?" Herm asked. "Yes. He is here most nights anyway and I know that he gets tired of sleeping on the couch. This way, he has a bed to sleep in. Now, let me talk to Hap." I tell him. Putting Happy on the phone, "Hey." He says. "Hey. Just wanted to let you know I have your room set up so you can get things moved in when you get back." I tell Happy. "Thanks. It will feel good to sleep in a bed instead of that damn couch." He tells me, laughing. "Okay well, be safe and I will see you tomorrow night. "See you tomorrow. Here's your Old Man." he tells me before Herm comes back on the line. "Babe, I'm gonna head to bed. I'll see you and the babies tomorrow night. Kiss them and tell them Daddy loves them." he says. "Okay babe. See you tomorrow. Both of you, be safe. I love you." I tell him. "I love you too babe." he says before ending the call. I laid awake most of the night with this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. Getting up, I run to the bathroom, getting sick. The prospect must have heard me because he comes to the door and knocks, "You okay Julie?" he asked. "Yeah. Just my nerves. Happens when they are gone." I tell him before going back to bed.

The next day, I couldn't keep my focus. Gemma stopped by and could tell something was up. "What's wrong Sweetheart?" she asked. "I don't know. I just have this bad feeling that I can't shake." I tell her. "Why don't I take the babies for the night and when the guys get home, you can relax with them for the night." she tells me. "Yeah, uh, that would be great. Thanks Gem." I tell her, packing the kids bags and she heads out the door with them.

Later that evening, I hear a bike pull into the driveway. Thinking it was just Herm, I waited for him to come in but instead, Happy came in alone. He pulled me to him, clearly crying and says "I am so fucking sorry. It should have been me."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"I'm so fucking sorry. It should have been me." Happy says through the tears. Pulling back from him, I asked, "Hap, where's Herm?" Knowing something was wrong. He looked me in the eyes and sat me down on the couch. "We were meeting with the Russians and him, Jax and Juice were stuck on the other side of the field when we discovered the land mines. Juice and Jax made it across but when Koz came across, he stepped on a mine." he tells me. "Oh my God. Hap. No." I start to sob. "I'm sorry Jules. I was supposed to be on the other side. Not Koz. He volunteered to go with Jax and Juice and told me to stay with Tig, Bobby and Chibs." he tells me. He pulls me closer and holds me while I sob. My breathing starts to get more rapid and I start going into a panic attack. Pulling back from me, Happy takes my face in his hands and tells me "Jules, breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out." and keeps repeating it until the attack subsides. "He can't be gone Hap. Oh my God. The babies. He's supposed to be here to help me raise our kids. He promised." I sob harder. "I know. This is my fault. I'm so sorry." he tells me. I pull back from him and look him in the eyes. "Stop that shit right now. This is not your fault. This is not on you." I tell him, sternly. We spend the next couple of hours just sitting together. He holds me close and we just sit, in silence. That is until there is a knock on the door. Standing up to answer it, Happy greets the prospect and then closes the door. Handing me the envelope, I look at him confused. "We all wrote letters to the people that were the most important in our lives for when we died. I knew Koz wrote one to you." he explains. "Who did you write yours to?" I asked. "You." he responds.

 _Dear Jules,_

 _If you are reading this, it means the Reaper has come to claim me. I am so sorry that I won't be there to hold you, to help you raise our kids, to spend the rest of your life showing you how much I love you. I know we didn't come together in the most conventional way but that didn't make me love you any less. You are the best thing that has happened to me and you have not only been an amazing wife but an even more amazing mother to our beautiful kids. I don't know how I got so lucky. But, again, I am so sorry that I didn't make it home because if I know me, I promised you I would. This is the only promise I didn't keep._

 _I know that if you are reading this, that my best friend is sitting there next to you, taking care of you like I asked him to. I know you love me and would never turn your back on me but I need you to listen to me and do as I asked. After we had that talk about the will and the insurance, I spoke to Happy. I know that we talked about him moving in and helping you if anything happened to me and I meant it and knowing you, you already have him a room ready. But I need you to promise me that you will do everything he asks you to do. If he tells you something, there is a reason for it. Please listen to him like you do me. He will be there for you but I need you to be there for him too. He's my best friend and he is going to need you just like you are going to need him. Please do this for me. I love you and the kids more than anything. I will be watching you all from above and will be with you always._

 _Love,_

 _Herm._

After reading the letter, I curl in closer to Happy. "Are we going to be okay?" I asked him. "I don't know. But I'm not going anywhere. When you are ready, I will take you to Skeeters. He wanted to be cremated and buried with SAMCRO." he said. "I know. We already have our plots picked out. Let me shower and we can head over." I tell him. Getting up and heading to the shower, I cried even more while the hot water ran over me. Getting out, I got dressed and headed to Skeeters. After getting his ashes, I hold the urn close to me as Happy drove us to get EJ and Anna from Gemma's. Walking into Gemma's she pulls me close and tells me that they are all there for me for anything I need. A couple of the Croweaters come up to me and tell me that they are sorry for my loss and that they will come by the house with food and will help with the babies if I need them to. All I could do was nod. I just went with the motions.

Getting home that night, we were planning his burial for the next morning, Happy helped me put the kids to bed. Sitting down on the couch, I have a bottle of Jack in my hands and Happy takes it from me and sets it on the other side of him. "You don't need that." he tells me. "Happy, I need something to make me stop feeling shit." I tell him. "You don't need that. You need to feel shit. The more you feel it now, the easier it will be to cope with it and those babies need both of us right now." he tells me and I know he is right. "You need to head to bed. Get some rest." he tells me. "Okay. Maybe you're right." I say before standing up, kissing his cheek and heading to bed.

The next six of months go by like a blur but I woke up this morning and went through the same routine that I normally do. I got up, changed both babies and took them to the kitchen to start breakfast and Happy walks in. Getting his coffee cup, he kisses the top of my head and says "Morning Momma." I smile the first real smile since losing my husband and say "Morning Hap." He walks over and kisses both babies on the top of the head and sits down with his coffee as I put his plate of food in front of him. Feeding both babies before I fix my plate, he finishes and puts his plate in the sink and helps me clean up the babies before he starts to get ready for work. I am still at home with the kids full time and we go to see Herm's grave once a week. Sitting there this morning, I speak, "Hey babe. I don't know where to start. Kids are doing great but we all miss you. It's been six months and Happy is still living with me, helping with the kids and he's been great with being there for me. But Herm, I feel like I am doing something wrong. I love you and miss you so much but it seems like Happy and I are getting closer. He's still sleeping in a different room and I haven't cheated on you but when we are watching the kids, he usually has my legs draped across his on the couch, he kisses the top of my head every morning as well as the kids. He is really good to us. I feel like if I start having feelings for him that I am betraying you. I miss you so much but I care about Happy too. I hope you don't hate me." I say as tears start rolling down my face.

After sitting there a little while longer, I head home and start cleaning the house. I fix dinner and Happy comes home. We eat, he helps me put the kids to bed and he settles in on the couch with the remotes while I head out to the back deck with a glass of wine and the baby monitor. Sitting out there, looking up at the sky, I keep thinking about Herm and Happy. I love Herm and always will but I am starting to have feelings for Happy and I don't want to betray Herm. I hear the door open and Happy comes out, beer in hand and sits next to me. "You okay, Jules?" he asked. "Yeah. Just a lot of shit on my mind." I tell him. "Talk to me." he says. "It's nothing, Hap. Just some shit I gotta sort out." I tell him hoping he will drop it. "Like I said. Talk to me." he says. Taking a deep breathe, I look back up at the sky and say "I went to see Herm today." I look over at Happy and continue. "I can't seem to get my head right. I miss him so much but then here with you, things seem so normal. I love him still but I care about you too and I feel like if I have any kind of feelings for you that I will be betraying him. I just can't get my head around it all." I tell him. "Look, I know you promised Herm you would take care of us but you have your own life. Maybe it's time you moved on. You shouldn't have to be stuck here with me and the kids." I tell him, getting up to head inside. He grabs my hand and stops me. "I care about you too." Looking back at him, I let him pull me back to my seat and he start again. "I have feelings for you. I have since you were with Herm. Before he died, we talked. He told me that he didn't trust anyone but me to be with you and that when you started entertaining the idea of moving on, to give you the letter that he wrote me." Getting up, he pulled me into the house and into his room. Handing me the letter, I sat on the bed and he sat beside me.

 _Hap_

 _Brother, where do I start? If you got this letter, that means the Reaper took me and Julie and the kids are alone. I know you won't take an Old Lady and I get it. You don't want someone to have to worry about but I have to call bull shit on that one. I know you have feelings for Julie. I see it in how you treat her and my kids. I see it in how you look at her. There is nothing wrong with that. She cares about you too. I know she loves me and is in love with me but you have a part of her heart too and I am okay with that. That is why you are getting this letter._

 _When Julie starts talking about moving on, I want it to be with you. You are the only one that will take care of my family like I do. You are the only one that I trust to be there for her and the kids and love her the way she deserves to be loved. She needs you and you need her. She is also the only one that I trust with my best friend. Be with her. Love her. Fuck, give her your fucking Crow. You have my blessing. And if she starts thinking that being with you betrays me? Give her this letter to read._

 _Jules, you and Happy have my blessing. I want the two of you together, when you are ready. I want him to help raise our kids. I know you will make sure the kids know who I am and how much I love them and if I know you, you take the kids to see my grave every week. Love Hap. Let him love you._

 _Happy, take care of our Old Lady and our kids. Until the Reaper claims you, I love you Brother._

 _Koz_

Reading the letter, I reach over and take Happy's hand. He intertwines our fingers and pulls my hand up to kiss my knuckles. I lean over and put my head on his shoulder and asked. "What do we do now?" Kissing the top of my head he says "When you are ready, I give you my Crow."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Happy and I spent the next couple of hours just talking. Talking about Herm, about the kids and even about where we go from here. We decided to just take it one day at a time. As we talked, we were laying on Happy's bed with my head on his chest and his arms around me just like I used to with Herm and it felt different. Right but different. I started yawning and looked at the clock and saw it was 3am. "You need your rest. Kids will be up bright and early." he tells me before kissing the top of my head. So far, the most that we have done was him kiss the top of my head, hold hands and lay like we are. "Can I sleep in here?" I asked. I missed sleeping next to someone and if we were going to try to be together like Herm wants, like we want, might as well start now. "Yeah, Jules. You can sleep here." he tells me as he pulls the comforter over us. I prop myself up so that I can look at him for a minute and as we are looking into each other's eyes, Happy puts his hand on the back of my neck and guides me forward until our lips touched. It was a soft and sweet kiss. Nothing like Herm (although his were passionate) but not like I imagined kissing Happy would be like. Yes, as of late, I had started wondering what it would be like to kiss him or to have him inside me. But every time I had those thoughts, I would feel like I was cheating on Herm. That was until I read the letter he left Happy. That made me see things in a whole new light seeing it, literally, in writing that we had his blessing. The kiss got deeper and before I knew it, I was laying on my back and he was hovering over me with our lips still locked and our tongues still fighting for control. His hand starts to slide up under the bottom of my shirt and his thumb started rubbing my stomach when he pulls back and asks "Are you okay with this?" I smile at him and say "Yeah Hap. I'm okay with this." He doesn't take it any farther and for that I am grateful. I have not had sex since before Herm died and don't know if I am ready for that yet but I have a feeling that Happy isn't going to rush me.

I woke up the next morning and got out of bed and started my routine. I got the kids changed and sitting in the kitchen eating while I finished Happy's breakfast. He walks in and kisses the top of my head as he gets his coffee. "Morning Momma." He says to me just like every morning but this time I responded differently. "Morning Babe. How'd you sleep?" I asked. "Good. You?" he asked with a small smile. "Better than I have in months." I say turning back to the stove. All of a sudden I feel Happy's hands on my hips and he leans down and whispers in my ear, "Think the kids would mind if I kissed my girl good morning?" I smiled and said "I don't think they would mind." He just smiled and tilted my head up and kissed my lips softly before letting me get back to cooking. "I was thinking about something I want to run by you and if this is too soon or you don't want to do this then that's fine but I wanted to throw it out there." I say. "Okay. What's up?" he asked. "I slept really good last night and if we are going to be together, maybe we should sleep in the same bed. You know. Really live like a couple." I tell him but don't look at him, scared of his reaction. Getting back up, he walks over and lifts my chin to look at him. "First of all, there is no going to be together. We ARE together. Second, I slept really good last night. Probably the first night I have slept more than a couple of hours in months. And third, I would love to really 'live like a couple." he says smiling before he kisses my lips. "Okay. Well, if it's okay, I want to get a new bed." I tell him and he looks at me confused so I explain. "That was my bed with Herm. If I am really moving on, I want to get a bed that is just me and you. Not me, you and my dead husband." I explain and he completely understands. "That's fine. There's cash in the safe, just take what you need and pick out the bed you want. Frame too. I will have a couple of prospects bring the van to help get it set up and we can put your bed in storage with the rest of the SAMCRO shit." He tells me. "Won't need the van. I still have Herm's truck. I can drive the truck and they can follow and do the heavy lifting." I tell him. "That's fine. Just no lifting for you. I mean it. Make the prospects do all the work." he tells me.

Three hours later, the old bed is out of the bedroom and our new bed is moved in. I follow the prospects with the babies to the clubhouse and see Happy sitting outside on one of the picnic tables with Chibs. "Hey Hap." I say as I walk up and he pulls me into his arms. I don't pull away. If we are going to be a couple then we need to act like it even if it means shit hits the fan. "Something you want to tell me here Lass?" Chibs asked. "Yeah but I want to get everyone together. The whole family." I tell him so he heads out to get everyone that is important to us pulled into the clubhouse. "Everyone that is not family, out." Jax instructs and all of the hang arounds and whores leave. Once everyone is gone I start talking. "I need to tell you all something. You all saw how broken I was when I lost Herm. Happy helped me through that. He's been living with me and helping me with the house and the kids and he's been a Godsend. But there is something you all need to know and I don't want to be given shit about it because it's happening no matter what you all think. In Herm's letter to me, he told me that once he was gone and I thought about moving on, that he wanted me to be with Hap. He wrote the same thing to Happy and I know this because he let me read his letter. In the letter he said he wanted me with Happy and that we had his blessing. We wanted to let you all know that we are together and that we would really like your support on this." I tell them as a few tears escape my eyes. Everyone comes up and starts congratulating us and telling us that we have their full support.

A month goes by and I am sitting at lunch at Gemma's and we are having coffee. "So, how are things going with Happy?" she asked. "Good. Really good. The day we came out to everyone, I had gotten a new bed so he is sleeping with me now." I tell her. "Have you two made it official?" she asked and I looked at her confused. "I don't mean the crow sweetheart. Have you slept with him yet?" she asked. "No. It's not that I don't want to but I have not been with anyone since Herm. I don't want to disappoint him." I tell her. "Baby, leave those babies here tonight and go home and put on something sexy and claim your Old Man." she tells me with an evil smirk. "Thanks Gemma. I think I will." I tell her and start planning out how to get things started.

Getting home, I fix dinner and Happy walks in. He sees me in the kitchen with a sundress on that hangs to my knees and barefoot. "Hey babe. Where are the kids?" he asked as he walks over and kisses my lips softly. "There are with Gramma Gemma. I thought we could spend some time together tonight." I tell him. "That's fine. Want to watch a movie after we eat?" He asked. "Sure, you're pick." I tell him, smiling. After we eat and settle on the couch with a movie, I decide to make my move. Wearing absolutely nothing under the sundress, I am sitting next to Happy and my legs are draped across his like we always do and he is rubbing my calves like he always does. Finally deciding to take the leap, I lean up, move over to straddle him and start kissing him. Pulling away he asked "What gotten into you?" as he smiles. "I'm ready to claim my Old Man." I tell him as I start kissing his neck. "Are you sure?" he asked me as he pulls me back to look at me. "Yes Happy. I'm sure. I'm ready." I tell him. He starts kissing me as he starts to pull the straps down off of my shoulders and he starts kissing down my neck and down to my breasts. Taking first one nipple and then the other, he takes his time and let's me enjoy every moment. It's been so long since I was with someone and it never felt like this. My skin is on fire in all of the spots that his lips have touched. Taking off my sundress, he sees that there was nothing underneath, he looks at me and growls his approval. "Fuck Jules." he growls. I smile at him and pull him back to me. He kisses me passionately and trails kisses down my body until he buries his face in my core, causing me to come undone under the wrath of his talented tongue. I whimper his name as I climax once again. I pull him up to me and kiss his hard and I can taste my own juices on him and that makes me grow wetter. "Please Happy. I need you." I tell him almost begging. Happy pulls back and begins taking his clothes off and I can't help but admire the sexy man standing before me. Leaning down, he places himself between my legs and enters me slowly. Making slow and deep thrusts, I realize he is not having sex. He is making love to me. After reaching climax after climax, he finally reaches his climax inside me and lays beside me and pulls me on top of him. "Holy fuck." I say. Laughing he asked "That a good thing?" I look at him and say "A very good thing." Kissing me softly, he pulls back to look at me. "You okay?" he asked. "Yeah. Happy. I'm okay. I am probably more okay than I have been in a long time." I say smiling and finally being able to say that I have officially moved on. "Right here." Happy says as he rubs his fingers along my ribcage. "What?" I asked. "My crow." he says. "Can you do it now?" I asked and his eyes went wide. Oh God, I hope I hadn't fucked things up. "Are you sure, Jules?" he asked. "Yeah, Hap. I am. I just don't know what to do with Herm's crow." I tell him. "Do you trust me?" he asked. "Totally." I respond.

Three hours later, I have Happy's crow on my left ribcage and the one that Herm put on me, Happy added his birth and death year to so that it closes one chapter and opens another. Both tattoos are beautiful. After Happy got done with everything, we laid in bed and I move over to straddle him again. Sliding my core down his hard member, I hear him growl deep in his chest. "What are you doing little girl?" he asked. "Officially Claiming my Old Man." I tell him as I start to rock faster and harder.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Happy and I spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, talking, making love and laughing. It feels so normal with him and that is how I know that moving on with Happy was the right thing. Looking across the room, I see a picture of Herm and myself on our wedding day. Happy sees me looking and says "Hey, look at me. It's okay." Looking at him I tell him, "I guess I should take that down huh?" Kissing me softly, he says "No. Let it stay. My best friend and my girl? It stays." "But Hap. That was my wedding day." I say. He smiles and says "And our's will be put right next to it." Sitting up, in shock, I asked him "Are you serious?" Smiling he says, "Yes Jules. I'm not saying right now but when you are ready, I want to marry you. Koz wasn't the only one that was in love with you. And when and if you are okay with it, I want to adopt the kids. They will always know who their Old Man was but I want us to be a real family." I am sitting there, in complete and utter shock. "Are you okay, Jules?" I just keep looking at him. "Yeah. I mean, are you sure?" I asked again. Laughing he says "Yes babe. I have never been more sure in my life." Straddling him, he pulls me down for a kiss and we start to claim each other again.

The next day, we go to Gemma's to get EJ and Anna and as we walk in the door, Gemma can tell instantly what happened. "Happy, can you give me and our girl a few minutes?" Gemma asked. "Sure." he kisses my cheek, the Gemma's and then heads into the living room with the kids while Gemma and I head to the back deck. "Okay, Sweetheart. Spill." he says. "I did what you suggested and finally slept with Happy." I tell her, blushing a little. "How was it?" she asked smirking. "Fuck Gem. It was amazing. Don't get me wrong, the sex was always amazing with Herm but with Happy, it's different. Amazing but different. But that's not all." I tell her. "Well, tell me." she says. I pull my shirt up to show her my new crow. "Holy shit! That's beautiful. What about your other one?" she asked. Showing her Herm's crow, she says "Wow baby. That's amazing." she says as she looks at the addition to the crow. "We talked last night and, when I get ready, he wants to get married and adopt the kids." I tell her and she looks at me and smiles. "That's great baby. But what do you think about it?" she asked. "Gemma, I love him. You know, I still have a picture of me and Herm on our wedding day sitting up in the bedroom and when I suggested taking it down, he told me to leave it and that we will put ours next to it." I tell her. "Wow. So, what are you going to do?" she asked. "I am going to marry my Old Man. Not right now but when we are both ready." I tell her. "Good baby. He would want you to be happy and Happy is the one he trusted the most." she tells me.

Walking back into the house, we sit down on the couch with EJ in my lap with a bottle and Anna in Happy's lap with a bottle. Anna starts to babble and starts to make the 'da da' sound. I look at Happy to see his reaction and I see him smile. Standing up, I put EJ in his swing and walk out to the back deck. A few minutes later, I heard Happy come out on the deck and I quickly wiped away the tears running down my face. Happy walked around in front of me and knelt down in front of me. "Talk to me Jules." he said and I could see the concern in his eyes. "I'm okay. Just needed a minute." I tell him. He doesn't move. "You know how you and Koz had full disclosure? Well, that applies to us too." he tells me. Sighing, I start telling him what is going through my mind. "When Anna said da da, I always thought that it would be Herm here to hear it. But then I saw the look on your face and how you seemed so happy, I guess my emotions got the best of me." I smile at him. "Julie, I love these kids. I wish Koz was here too but, baby, I would be lying if I said that I loved hearing her call me da da. But if you aren't okay with that, then it won't happen." he tells me. "Happy, you are wanting to adopt my kids. I'm okay with it. I promise but I also want to make sure that when they get old enough, we tell them about their real dad but I want them to grow up having a mom and a dad, Happy." I say and I start laughing. "What's so funny?" he asked. "Just, I never thought about you and I raising kids together, being mom and dad to the same kids." I tell him. Smiling, he says, "Babe, these are our kids, now." he tells me before kissing me. "Let's go to bed, Momma." He tells me. "Yeah, let's do, Daddy."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 *****Anna's first birthday*****

Waking up this morning, I am still wrapped up in Happy's arms. Pulling out of his grip he pulls me tighter and says "Where are you going?" I laugh and say "Today's our little girl's birthday and I have a party to get ready for." Getting out of the bed, I get in the shower and when I get out and head to get the kids, they are not in their rooms. Walking into the kitchen, Happy is at the stove making pancakes and EJ is sitting in his booster seat at the table drawing while Anna is in her highchair. Walking over, I kiss both babies and then over to Happy. Putting my arms around his waist, I kiss his bare back. Patting my hands with his, he plates the last of the pancakes and we get our day started.

The party is in full swing and EJ runs up to Happy "Daddy, can you play ball with us?" I look to Happy and he has this huge smile on his face. "Yeah, Daddy. Can you play?" I asked laughing. Kissing me softly, he heads out to the yard to play with EJ. With Anna sitting in my lap she is clapping her hands and laughing at her brother and Happy playing. When it's time to eat, everyone gets around the picnic tables and Anna reaches for Happy and says "Da Da. Da Da." He pulls her to his lap and kisses the top of her head. The rest of the party was a success and even the Old Ladies start helping clean up. "How's he handling being Daddy?" Gemma asked me. "He's doing good with it. And the kids seem to be adjusting well too. Anna is such a daddy's girl. It's amazing how she has him wrapped around her little finger." I tell her and we both laugh. "That's good baby. I'm glad things worked out. Why don't you let me take the babies tonight and let you guys have some Mommy and Daddy time." she tells me and we start packing the kids things. After Gemma leaves, Happy and I are on the couch and he pulls me to his lap. Pulling a small box out of his kutte pocket, he looks at me and tells me, "You know I love you and the kids more than anything, right?" I look at him and say "Of course. We love you too." He opens the box and says "Then I want to make this official. Marry me?" I smile wide and nod my head yes and kiss him softly after he puts the engagement ring on my finger. Laying my head on his shoulder, I asked, "Would you be okay with going to the courthouse? I don't want a wedding." He holds me closer and says "If that's what you want then that is fine with me. As long as you become Julie Lowman." he says. "While we are there, maybe we can file those adoption papers?" I asked. "Really? Are you sure?" he asked. "Happy, the kids call you daddy. You are here helping me raise them. I am ready for this." I tell him and he kisses me deeply and carries me to the bedroom.

The next morning, Happy wakes me up, telling me to get ready. "For what?" I asked. "Lowen is meeting us at the courthouse. We are getting married and filing those papers." he tells me. "Really? This soon?" I asked surprised. "Yeah. We both know how fast things can change and I want to do this as soon as possible." he tells me smiling. Two hours later, we are married and the papers have been filed for the adoption.

Pulling into Gemma's to get the kids, we walk in and I pull Gemma into the kitchen. "I need to tell you something." I tell her. I show her my hand and she smile wide and then looks at me surprised. "He proposed?" she asked. "Not only that but we went to the courthouse and got married this morning. We also filed the adoption papers for him to adopt the kids and in thirty days he will legally be their father." I tell her. She pulls me into a hug. "You ready to head home Mrs Lowman?" Happy asked as he entered the room with the kids. "Yes Mr Lowman. Let's go home."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Although I have moved on and married Happy, I still visit Herm's grave once a week, bringing fresh flowers each time. As I sit there with EJ and Anna sitting next to me, I start to talk to Herm. "Hey babe. I know you are watching so I know that you know what's going on. I did as you asked and moved on with Happy and I honestly love him babe. He's been great with the kids and they love him so much. We still have your pictures up around the house. That won't change and when the kids get old enough to understand, we will tell them all about you. But, a couple of things have changed in this past week. Happy and I got married yesterday. I know you are happy about it and he has put our wedding picture on the dresser next to mine with you. It was his idea. But we also filed adoption papers and just like with you, I made him get life insurance and we have a living will so if anything happens we know what will happen with the house and the kids. I miss you so much but I know this was what you wanted. At first, I didn't know if I could move on from you but Happy has been a blessing. Thank you for that. I love you babe. I always will." I say and we sit there for a little while longer before EJ speaks up and asked. "Mommy, who is this?" and points towards Herm's headstone. "This, baby, is someone very special to me and your Daddy. He is the reason that me and Daddy are together and the reason I have you and your sister." I say as a tear falls down my face. "Why are you crying mommy?" he asked. "Because I miss him, baby." I say. After a few more minutes, I press my lips to the stone and say "See you next week Herm." and walk to the car to take the kids home.

That evening, Happy is in the living room while I am cleaning up the kitchen and I hear EJ talking to Happy. "Mommy started crying today Daddy." I see Happy turn to look at me before turning back to EJ. "Why was she crying?" he asked. "She said she missed your friend. She said she loved him and missed him." Ej told Happy. Walking into the living room I say "We went to see Herm's grave. Thought I needed to tell him about us getting married and the adoption." I tell him and he nods his understanding. "You okay with it all?" he asked. Smiling, I nod my head and say "Very much so." Happy gets up and we get the babies in the bed and head to the bedroom. Once we are in bed, Happy pulls me to him and we look at the pictures that are sitting on the dresser and I smile. "You know, I never thought that I would ever fall in love, or ever have anyone love me but here I am and it has happened twice." I tell Happy. "You know, when we were getting the plan together to come and get you, Pres asked which one of us were going to take you as our Old Lady and we both raised our hands. We actually talked about it after church to decide which one of us got to have you." he tells me. Sitting up, I look at him shocked. "Are you serious?" He chuckles and says, "Yeah. very." I sat there a minute, taking it all in. "How did he talk you out of it?" I asked. "He told me he needed you more. He was tired of the endless hookups and ready to settle down with a family and didn't think he would find someone. He knew he was a little older than you and didn't think that women his age would take him seriously." he said. Smiling, I say "Well, looks like you both got me." He looked at me, "Can I ask you something?" he asked. "Yeah." I say. "When he was still alive, you took care of me like I was your Old Man too. Why?" he asked. "Happy, a part of me loved you too and I think Herm knew that. You needed someone to take care of you and you were his best friend but truth be told, if I hadn't ended up with him, I would have wanted it to be you." I answer. He pulls me to him and kisses me softly. Rolling me over so that he was hovering over me, he starts to undress me before pushing himself into me and slowly making love to me.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

A month has gone by since Happy and I were married and we filed the adoption papers. We are meeting with Lowen to see what the judge decided. "Hey Ally." I say as we walk into her office with the kids in tow. "Hey Julie, Happy. Have a seat." she says. Sitting down, she pulls out a file. "These are your copies of the adoption papers, new birth certificates with Happy's name as the father. It's official guys. Congrats." she tells us and Happy and I both smile. We take the papers and head out of the office when Happy gets a phone call. "Yeah...Leaving Lowen's office now...Okay...Be there in ten." he says before hanging up. "Jax?" I asked. "Yeah. Gotta head to the clubhouse. Head straight home and lock the doors. Don't answer for anyone that's not a SON." He tells me before kissing me and the kids and heading out.

Walking into the house, I get the kids inside and I am fixing lunch when Juice shows up at the door. "Julie!" He yells. "In here Juice." I yell from the kitchen. He comes running in, "Get a bag for you and the kids. We need to get to the clubhouse. Now." he tells me, out of breath. "Grab the babies and put them in the car. I'll get the bags. They are already packed." I tell him. Happy made us start keeping go bags packed just incase. Juice is putting the kids in the car when I walk out the door. "Julie, there's something you need to know before we get there." he tells me. "What is it?" I ask and I know something is wrong. "Happy's been shot. We don't know how bad it is but Chibs is working on him now." he tells me. I freeze. I can't do this again. I can't lose two husbands. "Jules, snap out of it. We gotta go." he tells me and I get myself together and get in the car. As soon as we pull out of the driveway, EJ asked "Is Daddy hurt?" I look at him in the rear view mirror and say "Yeah baby. I think he is but Uncle Chibby is working on him okay? He'll be fine." I tell him. No one says another word until we get into the lot.

Pulling into my parking spot, Gemma and one of the croweaters meet me at the car. "Go baby. We got them." Gemma tells me and I nod my thanks and head inside. "Where is he?" I asked as soon as I walk in the door. Chibs comes from around the corner and sees me. "He's in his dorm, Lass. He took two slugs to the stomach but I got both out. He should be fine but will need a lot of rest." he tells me. I pull him into a hug and whisper, "Thank you Chibs. I can't lose him." Walking down the hall, I walk into the dorm and see him laying there. The croweater that was cleaning up sees me and puts her hand on my shoulder as she walks out of the room. Walking over to the side of the bed, I sit down and put my hand on the side of his face. "Jules?" he asked. "I'm here baby. How ya feeling?" I asked as calmly as I can. "Like I been shot." he says. "Smartass." I say and smirk. "When Juice told me what happened, I thought I lost you." I said. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere. Come here." he told me and I laid down beside him and laid my head on his chest. "Where are the kids?" he asked. "Gemma has them in the main room. Want me to get them?" I asked. "In a minute. I just want to hold my wife for a minute. I love you Julie." he says. "I love you too Happy." I lay there for a few minutes and he falls asleep. I get up, make sure he's comfortable and head back out to the main room to check on the kids. I don't know what I would do if I lost him.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Walking back out to the main room, I see Gemma sitting with the babies. "How's he doing?" she asked. "He's sleeping but I think he will be okay." I say. EJ looks at me and asked "Daddy hurt Mommy?" I pull him onto my lap and say "Yes baby but Uncle Chibby took care of him. He's going to be fine." I see a tear fall down his face. "Do you want to see Daddy?" I asked. He nods his head yes. "Okay, but just for a minute so you can see he's okay. But you have to be really quiet because he's sleeping." I tell him and we walk to the dorm. Walking into the room, EJ sees him and doesn't say a word. I sit down on the edge of the bed and EJ is in my lap. He puts his hand on Happy's chest and Happy opens his eyes. "Hey Little Dude." he says to EJ. "Hi Daddy." he says and smiles. "Daddy hurt." he says and Happy looks at him and says "It's just a scratch buddy. Daddy is going to be fine." Pulling EJ down to lay next to him he looks at me and asked, "Where's Anna?" I smile and say "Gramma Gemma has her. She's sleeping." He just smiles. "I love you Happy." I say and he says "I love you too Jules. I promised you I'm not going anywhere and I meant it." I put my hand on the side of his face and he melts into my touch.

Juice went back to the house to get the pack and play and a small mattress was brought in for EJ to sleep. Kids are sleeping and I am laying on the bed next to Happy, just thinking. "What are you thinking about?" he asked me. "Nothing Babe. I'm good." I tell him. "No secrets. Remember?" he asked and I say "I can't lose you, Happy. As much as I loved Herm, once he died, I realized that I could move on but if I lose you? I can't move on again. You are it for me. I can't lose you." I tell him as tears fall from my eyes. "You aren't going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that. Remember, I am the killer, not the killed." he tries to joke but sees that I have buried myself further into his chest, sobbing. "Babe, I'm right here. It's okay." he says trying to calm me down. I just cried until no more tears would come out. "I'm sorry, Hap." I say and he tilts my head to look at him. "Don't do that. You are allowed to be emotional sometimes." he tells me and I kiss him softly. The kiss quickly becomes heated and he tries to pull me on top of him. "Hap, you're hurt." I tell him. "Just go slow." he tells me with an evil smirk. Climbing on top of him, I slide his hard member out of his boxers and slide my panties to the side down onto his member to take him all in. After adjusting for a minute, I start to slowly go up and down, riding him and making sure not to hurt him. Once I reach my release, he reaches his and I collapse down next to him.

Two months later, is one year old and EJ is now almost four. Happy is back to almost full health and things are getting back to normal. Almost. Lately, I have been so tired and not able to hold anything down so after Happy leaves for work, Neeta comes to stay with the kids while Gemma takes me to the doctor. Getting to the office, they call my name back and take my vitals and ask if there is a chance I am pregnant and that is when it hit me. Taking the pregnancy test, the doctor comes back in and says, "Congratulations, Mrs Lowman. Your pregnancy test came back positive. Now, we are going to do an ultrasound to see how far along you are and get you on some prenatals. I see this isn't your first pregnancy so you have a good idea of what to expect." she says. "This is my third." I tell her. Looking at the ultrasound picture, I am shocked. Eight weeks. That would make my conception date? Oh my God! I look at Gemma shocked and she asked "What?" I start laughing. "Remember the night he was shot? When we stayed at the clubhouse?" I asked. "Yeah, why?" she asked and then it hit her. "Really?" she asked laughing. "Yeah. He talked me into it. Holy shit." I say.

Heading to the clubhouse after picking up the kids from Neeta. I walk over to Happy and say "Lowman! Dorm! Now!" He looks at me shocked and the guys start laughing. Walking into his dorm I tell him to sit down. "I found out why I have felt like shit lately." I tell him. "What's wrong?" he asked and I handed him the ultrasound picture. "Is this?" he asked not finishing his question. "Yep. Eight weeks." I say. He looks at me and starts laughing. "That means…" I interrupt him and say "Yep the night you were shot when you talked me into having sex? You knocked me up, asshole." I tell him smiling. He pulled me down onto the bed and says "I could not be happier." and kisses me softly.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

 *****20 weeks pregnant*****

Sitting at the doctor's office, Happy beside me and the kids are with Neeta. Walking back to the exam room, they take my vitals and start the ultrasound. "The heartbeat is good and strong. Do you want to know the gender?" the doctor asked. "Yes." we both said and she smiled. Moving the wand she looks at us and says "It's a boy." I look to Happy and he is smiling really big. "Looks like that means Ana is still the only girl." I say laughing.

Walking into the house, EJ and Ana both have this thing with rubbing my belly since I have started really showing. "So, do I need to buy pink or blue?" Neeta asked as she hugs me. "Blue. Another boy." I tell her. She smiles wide and says her good-bye and I start dinner. We feed the kids and get them bathed and in bed and sit down on the couch together. Neither of us say anything. After a few minutes, Happy gets up and walks to the fridge for a beer and walks out the back door to the deck. I let him be for a few before I walk out there and ask, "Are you okay Happy?" He doesn't say anything, just stares into space. I sit next to him on the steps and put my hand on his and he doesn't respond. "Happy? Talk to me please?" I plead. "I'm okay. Just thinking about things. You know, I never thought that I would see the day that I would have a wife and a child." he says. "Is this not what you want?" I asked. "It's all I want. That's not what I meant. Just, my dad was shit and here I am with a wife and now, about to be, three kids. It just makes me wonder how a man can leave his wife and kid like mine did." he says. "Happy, you are nothing like him. You took care of me, EJ and Ana when Herm died and never thought twice about it. You didn't even run when the kids started calling you daddy. You just stepped right in like you had always been there. Do you know how much that means to me? How much you mean to me? And now that we are having our son together, I don't think that I could ever be happier." I tell him. He puts his arm around me and says "Thank you Jules. I fucking love you." Smiling at him, I tell him "I love you too Happy. Always."

The rest of the night we talk about the kids and the new baby. "Have you thought of names?" I asked him. "I have. Donovan Lee." he says. "I like that name. But where did you think of that?" I asked. "Donovan was after my uncle that helped raise me. Lee, after SAMTAC pres. He took me and Koz in when we didn't have anywhere to go. He is the reason we became SONS." he explains. "That's perfect. But when are you going to tell him?" I asked. He pulls out his phone and places the call to the SAMTAC president to give him the good news. I can see the pride in his eyes as he tells Lee that we are having a son and that he is named after him.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

 *****15 years later*****

"Mom, who's this picture of?" Ana asked as she was looking through pictures for a school project. EJ was helping her look for pictures of the family for the family tree. Taking the picture from her hand, as Happy is standing in the doorway, he nods his okay to tell them. "Well, baby girl, there is something that your Dad and I need to tell you and your brother. When I was younger, my father was really abusive. The SONS saved me. This man right here, took me as his Old Lady. We were eventually married and had you two. This man is your birth father. EJ you are actually named after him. Herman Evan Jr." I explain. "Where is he now?" EJ asked. "Baby, he was on a job with the club and was killed. Your Dad was his best friend. You know the letters that Daddy was talking about writing in case something happened?" I asked and they nodded. "Well, he wrote one to me and to your Dad. He wanted me and your Dad to take care of each other and when I was ready to move on, he wanted me to move on with your Dad. He knew that we needed each other." I explain. "The grave that we visit every week, that's him?" Ana asked. "Yes baby. That's him." I say. "So, why do we have his last name?" she asked motioning to Happy. "Because when we got married, he adopted you. You became his kids the minute Herm died." I tell them. Ana gets up and walks to Happy and wraps her arms around his waist. "I love you Daddy." she says. "I love you too baby girl." he says back. "So, is Donovan our half brother?" EJ asked. "Yes. He is biologically Happy's." I tell him. EJ walks over to Happy and says "Thanks for being there Dad." Happy pulls him into a hug but doesn't say anything. "So, Mom, you actually loved two men?" Ana asked. "Yeah. When Herm and I got together, we didn't know each other but we fell in love. I loved him with everything I had. When he died, I didn't think that I could move on. But your Dad showed me that I could. The more I saw how he was with you and your brother and the more he was there for me, the harder I fell for him. They say you only have one true love but I have two." I tell her.

That afternoon, I head to the cemetery like I did every week. Sitting at the stone, I start to speak. "Herm, Happy and I told the kids today. Ana is working on this family tree for school and found a picture of me and you together so we told her and EJ everything. They know about you now. They took it a lot better than I thought. Happy has been an amazing dad to them and you would be proud. EJ turns eighteen next week and starts prospecting for the club. He said once he is patched in, he wants to get a patch to honor you since you are his dad too." I say with tears in my eyes. "I still miss you as much now as I did when I first lost you. You saved me. You showed me that I was worth loving and I will never forget that. Even in your death you made sure me and the kids were taken care of. I will always love you, Herm but I am glad that you brought Happy to me too. I just really wish you were here to see the kids. They are so grown. Ana has your personality. Some of the things she says and does are exactly like you. EJ has your logic. Don't know how but that boy can think anything through. He is going to make an amazing SON. I have to head back home. Donovan will be home from school soon but I love you, Herm. I will be back next week. I think I will bring the kids next time." I say before kissing the stone like always and walking away. I walk back to my car and see Happy standing there with both kids. "The kids want to meet their Old Man." Happy says as we walk back to the stone together.


End file.
